Walking Blind
by Kryptics
Summary: Rinoa leaves Squall and he begins to hear strange voices in his head. Fearing for his mental health, his friends send him to an asylum where he meets someone who may be able to save him from himself. SquallOC. rated for later chapters. r and r.
1. Unheard Voices

Walking Blind

**Author's Note: **The inspiration for me to write this story came from the one and only Dark Raion who is one of the best Squinoa writers I have ever seen (or rather read). My story will NEVER be as good as her Reign of Shadows but I do hope that I can somewhat please you with a story about Squall and his endless struggles. In respect of her, I am not going to use Squall and Rinoa, but he will be paired with an original character instead. *dodges a tomato thrown by the crowd* Please don't hurt me!! I love Squinoa but I'm terrible at writing them so I'm going to stick to what I'm good at. Well…at least what I think I'm good at. ANYWAY, this story will be a lot different than what most people have read, because it is VERY well… dark. It has an OC who you may find to be much different than your average "psycho" person. But then again is there such thing as an "average psycho" person? I think not. ANYWHO, enough with the rambling and on to the story of a man, a woman, and their struggles. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer's: **Ok, we all know the deal, I don't own Final Fantasy 8 or any of the songs used in this story.

Chapter 1: Unheard Voice The sound of sadness 

_Calling me_

_Cast me to the open sea_

_Hear those whispers _

_Heart felt cries_

_Taking me up into the skies_

_From the darkness they are heard_

_I can hear their every word_

_Those unheard voices everywhere_

_Answer them,_

_Do I dare?_

_            ~Lynxionia_

            Why. Such a short and seemingly insignificant word, but yet it held so much meaning to someone who found themselves only capable to ask such a question. He could ask himself this and he could ask himself that, but in the end it all came back to, Why? 

He loved her. Didn't she love him? Maybe he was just too…cold. But, oh, how he had tried to change that and open up. But no one could wait forever. And he guessed that she had waited too long. Why couldn't it all be just…simple, just as easy as one, two, three? But that was wishful thinking. Nothing was simple, nothing was easy. But he had thought that with her by his side he wouldn't need to worry, not anymore. Cast away those fears, those doubts, just cast them all away. To some distant place that they could never be found and never return. 

Yet, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times he promised her his heart. They still fell apart, shattered in two like glass that hits the pavement. If he would have been as he was before he won't have cared. Just let it all slid, but not this time, not this time. 

He looked over at the picture sitting on the in table next to him. The face behind the glass frozen in time smiled at him with the sun upon their lips. Hollow, that was how me felt now that he knew she was going away, to "live as normal people do". That was what she had said to him. Why couldn't she live with him? What was wrong about that? There must have been something wrong because she left without so much as a tear in her eye. Not even caring that he was feeling as if someone had taken his heart from his very body and had left him alive to slowly whither away to nothing.  

She had changed everything for him and now she was changing it again. But this time it was a change for the worse. Yet, it wasn't her leaving that bothered him the most. It was, instead, the true reason she was departing that tore him apart. The voices. She had hated them from the start and had slowly begun to turn that hatred on him. 

He shut his eyes as he started to remember when everything had begun. About 4 months ago he had fallen into a deep sleep and found himself surrounded by darkness.

(Where am I? What is going on? Am I…alone?) His thoughts were in a wild panic as he simply walked thought nothingness and in no direction that could be leading him anywhere. He felt cold and warm at the same time and the feeling scared him to no end. But just as he was about to yell out in confusion, a voice shattered the silence and words formed in the emptiness of this dead place. 

            "Help me. Please."

            A plea, but from whom, no one was here but him and no person was present to claim responsibility for the words floating in this place. Who was speaking? 

            "Don't leave me here."

            He looked left and then right to find a speaker but found none. Only blackness, cold, and endless blackness. 

            "Save me, save me, save me…"

            As he heard those two words echoed off unseen walls the darkness shattered into a million pieces and just faded away leaving him in a cold sweat and a shaken mind as he awoke in his room. 

            That was when she had awoke and asked him what was wrong. He had simply told her that he heard someone calling him for help, but he didn't know whom. She stared for a moment then waved off his words with a calm "whatever" before rolling over and falling back asleep. 

            Even though she was willing to pay no heed to the seemingly meaningless voice, he could not. It kept him up night after night and made him wonder who could be pleading for help. He was almost sure that it wasn't just a dream because it started happening every night and it was starting to really make him uneasy. That was when she announced that she needed to go "live as normal people do". At first he didn't understand why she was suddenly leaving as if he had treated her badly or had done something to upset her, but after he began to think it all came clear. She was beginning to think that he was talking about another women, someone that he was seeing besides her. When this realization sunk in he had tried his best to persuade her to stay and reassure her that he was not cheating. But she wouldn't hear it, not a word. So, she pack her few positions and left without so much as a tear. 

            And now he lay here on this bed that he once shared with the one person who had made him see who he really was and what he was missing in life. The scene played itself over and over and over again in his mine till he felt he would just explode, but he was still there and so was the pain of losing her. 

            Yet, even as he mourned her leaving as if it were a death, one thing continued to also remain at the front of his mind. That voice calling for help was still ringing in his ears along with the sadness they held. 

            So with a heavy heart and a confused mind, he lay down on the queen-sized bed and drifted into a despairing sleep where the voice now stood as his only companion to share it.

**"Answer them, do I dare?"**


	2. On Nothing inside

Walking Blind

**Author's Note:** I know, I know. It sucks so far, but give me a break, I'm not the best you know. Well here is where our dear friend Squall gets his life turned inside out. Poor guy. But don't worry help is on the way for Squall Leonhart and soon we will see the better side of this story. So just sit back and breath deep before you begin this chapter. And just so you know, this chapter is NOT about Rinoa. Just so there's no confusion.  Enjoy!

**Disclaimer's:** Nope, don't own it and neither do you! SO THERE!!

 Chapter 2: On Nothing Inside

_Come into this world that's_ _silent,_

_A world that is unfair and violent._

_Hidden pain and dried up tears, _

_A place that's born of all our fears._

_Emptiness fills up this place,_

_We whiter in our own disgrace._

_This is where all evil will hide,_

_And where we live on nothing inside._

_            ~Lynxionia_

            The world around her returned as she sat up out of her bed in a rush. Sweat was pouring down her body and her breathing was labored. Slowly she began to calm her shaken nerves and gain her composer once again. It took so much energy to sleep; nothing could ever sooth her aching mind. Closing her eyes, she evened her breathing and quieted her mind, then with renewed composer, she got out of her bed and walked over to the counter in the small kitchen. Pouring a glass of water, she allowed herself to remember the dream she had been shaken by. 

            It was the same as always, the same image that haunted her from the start. It was a memory turned into a nightmare that she felt she would never be rid of no matter how many times she tried to forget it. The face of that man was the only thing in life she ever feared and it was the only thing in life that gave her the motive to live. To live was to deny he had control; to live was to show that despite his every effort to see her die, he would not succeed.  She hated him; she despised his very existence and the evil he represented. Not only did he try to destroy her and make her suffer, but in the end he had only wanted to watch her die even if it was not at his hands. 

            Yet, she stood in her small kitchen that she had known for so long and for the first time in over ten years, would let another human being would be in her presents for more than just a day or two. They had told her only yesterday that someone was coming and that they would be put with her. But even as she thought of it now, she could not see if this was something to be happy or sad about. For if it would have been under normal circumstances she knew that it should be something to dread, but to be quite frank, she had stopped caring and now it was just another person that would bother the hell out of her. 

            With nothing else to do, she finished off her glass of water, and headed for the bathroom to change. It would probably be like any other day with people trying to "change her for her own good".

Stripping from her sleeping clothes, she turned on the shower to the hottest setting, hoping that the scalding water would drown out her senses for the day ahead. Stepping into the water and letting it fall over her almond skin and spill down her lean body and swirl down the drain, she closed her eyes and just stood there clear of thought. Finishing off her shower, she slipped into a pair of jean shorts and a light blue tang top. Pulling her knee length hair up into a high ponytail and pulling on a pair of white tennis shoes she reached for the contents on the nightstand. Adding her necklace and rings as finishing touches, a key turned in the door and it swung open to reveal two men in white suits.

            "You are wanted at the main office." It was a statement, not a request.

            She simply stepped outside of her small living space into the hallway and began the trek to the main office on the first floor with her "escort" close behind. It was obvious why she was going down to the all to familiar main office. They were going to "introduce" her to her new roommate. With a heavy sigh she entered the elevator, one of her "escorts" pressed the button for the first floor, and let the elevator take her down in silence. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            They were sending him to an awful place. A place where people that weren't like him were suppose to be. But here he was, in a white car with large men in white suits, being taken to the one place he knew he wasn't suppose to be. As he sat on the white leather seats of the car looking at the scenery go by in a blur of color he let the reality sink in. 

He felt empty and cold. Void to all senses that would have told him to be angry and extremely upset. But it was all just one big feeling of nothingness that clouded his already torn mind and heart. This world was just so cruel and unforgiving but at the same time it was fair and just. It had opened his eyes to the truth, but had torn him apart in the process. 

With sad sky blue eyes, he watched the white car stop in front of a large gate that closed off what seemed be a small city. The driver of the car punched a few numbers into a keypad and the iron gate slowly began to swing open.  The car once again began to move forward and the features of this small city began to appear. 

There were small shops, inns, bars, and even a hospital set up as any city would. But the difference between every other city and this one was the large brick building that stood in the center that towered above all the other buildings around it. 

(That must be where they're taking you. How "pleasant".) His thought chimed in the back of his head and he simply ignored them as he had become accustom to doing. 

The brick building became larger and larger as they got closer to its immense shadow thrown across the small town. The car came to a halt and the white men in suits got out of the car and pulled him along as if he couldn't do it on his own. Holding onto his forearms firmly, they walked him up the ancient stone steps into the entrance of this brick monster. Just before they carried him through the door he caught a glimpse of the engraving across the stone entryway. The Oceans Shore.  

            With his arms still firmly in their grasp of the men in white, he was pushed though another door that was cream colored and came upon a desk where a small dark haired woman with brown eyes was rummaging through a draw of files. Her white suit with nametag and hat finished off the image as a true secretary and she lifted her eyes to look at him. Then, lowering her eyes back to the task she had been doing, she spoke in a high ringing voice; "I'll be with you in a moment." She lowered her head again and continued to rummage through the files. Then after pulling out a file in the "o" section, she looked back up at him and spoke again in her high voice, "The doctor is waiting for you in her office and here is the file you need." One of the men extended his hand and took the folder before continuing through another door on the right. 

As the door swung open a desk with chairs on either side appeared with yet another women sitting in one of the seats. She had red hair and sky blue eyes with creamed colored skin that looked even paler in her white doctor's suit. On her desk was a nameplate, papers here and there, a jar of pencils, and a file that was open with one of the contents between her small fingers. Her eyes her panning back and forth across the page and did so for a few minutes before she notice them standing there. 

With a small smile she gestured towards the chair on the other side of her desk. One of the men let go of his arm while the other pulled him over to the chair and sat down bringing him into the chair next to him. The man finally let go of his arm, while the other remained by the door as if he were standing watch. 

He allowed his focus to shift away from the man back to the woman sitting on the other side of the desk. She laid the paper she had been reading back down into the folder before looking at him and finally speaking. 

"Hello Squall, its nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Megan Krueger, the head doctor of this facility. Welcome to The Oceans Shore." Her voice was low and soft but at the same time it was firm and commanding. He also found it rather presumptuous of her to assume that he found it a "pleasure" to meet her. Even with her warm greeting, he didn't answered and in the deep corner of his mind, he didn't feel inclined to. But despite his soundless reply, she continued with the same tone as before. "I've been reading up on your file. It seems you held a very high position before coming here. A headmaster at Balamb garden, huh? Quite interesting." He continued to stare at her as she paused and looked at him. She realized that he wasn't finding any of this interesting, seeing as it was his life and he already knew what his job had been. 

After she picked up the piece of paper out of the manila folder again, he realized for the first time that there was another folder lying under what he assumed was his own. Pulling it out from under his, she opened it and looked at the paper lying on top before saying anything more. 

"Well, enough idle talk." Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Let's get right down to business. You are already aware of why you are here so now it's only a matter of getting you a room and a schedule." She began to flip through a pile of papers in his folder. After a few minutes, she pulled out a paper and put it across the desk. "This will be your schedule for the year. Each year you get a new one and you will be required to attend these class everyday except on Friday, Saturdays, Sundays, and Holidays." She sat back in her chair and pulled a tiny key out of her pocket. "This is the key to the room you will be sharing with another patient who is currently staying." At the word "patient" Squall almost shuddered. She tossed the key at him and he caught it between his gloved fingers. "Your roommate should be arriving shortly to show you to your room." Just as the words left her mouth, the women from the desk in front poked her head in the door.

"Excuse me Doctor, but she's here." 

"Thank you Linda. Send her in." Dr. Krueger nodded her head and looked back at Squall. "Speak of the devil."

Squall heard the desk attendant's voice from outside, "You can go in, she has been expecting you." Then the door once again open and a much more interesting sight replaced it. 

A tall woman with obsidian black hair and mysterious red eyes stood impatiently by the door as Dr. Krueger spoke to her. "What nice timing, why don't you join us?" The doctor jester towards the chair next to Squall and the girl hesitantly moved over to the chair and plopped down unceremoniously onto it. She crossed her arms over her chest, closed her eyes, and lowered her head with the obvious intention not to speak to anyone in the office. 

Squall took this time to glace at her attire. She wore a pair of denim jean shorts, a light blue tang top, and white tennis shoes. She was also sporting a variety of jewelry; four rings, one bracelet, two earrings, three necklaces, and a watch. 

He pulled his gaze from her and looked back at the doctor who was turned towards the girl and talking once again. 

"We'll now that your both here, I think this would be a good time to announce that Squall will be sharing your living space with you." At these words that girls eyes snapped back open and her ruby orbs stared at the doctor. In an instance, a battle went between the two females, but a moment later the doctor once again broke the silence. "Can you…handle this?"

The girl closed her eyes again and breathed slow and even as if breathing was helping her to decide. But after a few seconds her eyes opened and a short nod followed. 

Doctor Krueger smiled and stood from her seat as everyone else followed suit. "Good, then our time here is finished. Show Squall to his new room and work out your schedules. I took the liberty of arranging your class so that they match." The girl just stood there not saying a word or even uttering a sound for the entire "conversation", a conversion in which the doctor had been the only speaker. 

Turning towards the door, the girl walked away from the desk and Squall trailed wordlessly behind as the doctor spoke before they disappeared. " I'm sure things will be different this time, Oni." When that last sentence reached Squall's ear he immediately began to wonder what she could have meant by that, but he let it go as he trailed behind the girl named Oni.

The elevator ride up to the ninth floor was in absolute silence, a loud, and deafening silence. Oni stepped off when the ding of the elevator echoed and she continued to walk straight down the hallway. 914, 915, 916. She stopped at the door labeled 917, pushed her door key into the slot, and opened the door. 

Behind the worn white wood was a large room with two queen-sized beds separated by a curtain that was hung on a track. Oni stepped into the dark room and laid her key on the table next to the door. Squall slowly made his way through the threshold and pushed the door closed behind him assuming that she wanted it shut. Taking a few glances around, Squall could see a small kitchen off to the left and a door, which he assumed led to the bathroom, behind the beds. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could now make out the outline of his small suitcase that contained his few belongings. It was lying on the bed to the right of the curtain and he took this as a sign that this would be his bed. 

As Squall took in the surroundings, Oni stood at the small kitchen counter, silently observing him. 

He was taller than her by about three inches. Brown hair and sky blue eyes added to his appearance while a thin scar that went diagonally across the bridge of his nose made his face look handsome. There was no doubt he was strong and well built, but something in his expression made him look worn and tired, almost…empty.

(Like me.) Her thoughts added to her overall view of him. He didn't look like a person who would bother her that much, and maybe they would be able to put up with each other as long as they didn't have to do that much conversing. Perhaps, Dr. Krueger had been right, maybe this time it _would_ be different. 

With that thought running though her ever churning mind, Oni walked past Squall to the door, once again picked up the door key from the table, and waited for him to follow. Squall once again trailed her out the door and began another silent trek down the hallway. 

Entering the elevator once again, Oni pushed the button for the third floor, and after a few seconds, the doors opened and they emerged. She led him down another hallway and stopped in front of a double door entryway with black letters across the front that read "Activity Center". Oni pushed the doors open and revealed a large room with tons of people running around. Some were playing cards; others were playing basketball, while some just sat in various places talking. 

As Squall let his eyes scan the spacious room, he noticed a small girl sitting at one of the tables, get up and begin to walk towards them. 

She smiled at them both and spoke in a clear cheerful voice, "Hi Oni. Did you come to play with us?" At the sound of Oni's name, every one near enough to hear turned around and either waved or smiled. Then, turned back around and continued whatever they had been doing.

Oni kneeled next to the small girl and put her hands on her shoulders, "No, not today Toki."

As she spoke, Squall realized that it was the first time he had ever heard her voice. It was a very quiet voice that was calm and smooth. To some extent, it could have been called emotionless, but at the same time, caring. 

The small girl, named Toki, looked up at him through chocolate brown eyes and stared in wonder, "Is he the new one?" Oni stood up and looked at Squall through her crimson eyes before turning back to the small girl and nodding. Toki squealed in delight then bowed her head to Oni; "I'll take him for you now Oni." Oni nodded in return and walked away back through the double doors they had entered moments ago.

Squall looked back down at the girl who was still smiling up at him and gave her a questioning look.

Toki read his expression and answered almost immediately, "Don't worry, Oni's always like that. You'll get used to it. Now, follow me and I'll show you around. This is a big place you know and we can't have you getting lost." She turned around and began to walk, but stopped when she saw he wasn't following. "Well, come on."

Having no other option, Squall began to follow the child around the large building. She showed him the different levels, where the cafeteria was, and how to find his way from place to place. As she gave him the "grand tour", Squall found it quite amazing that a child this small could remember so many different places and features of such a large building. She couldn't be more than four or five, six at the most. And she knew so much about the many people who pasted them by that Squall found himself asking questions about his silent roommate. 

Toki was glad to talk about Oni and seemed to know a lot about her. "Oni is liked by all the patients in this building; there isn't a single one that doesn't like her. To the younger ones like me, she's the big sister of us all and to the older ones, she's like the daughter they never had. She is just nice to everyone and doesn't ever complain when they ask her to do something."

"Well, from what I see, she doesn't seem to be on the best of terms with Dr. Krueger." Squall's observation of Oni's behavior towards the doctor was less than friendly. It was almost threatening.

"I said every patient likes her, that doesn't include the doctors. But think about it, would you like someone who is constantly trying to 'change you for the better' even if it means hurting you in the process? I certainly don't and I know Oni doesn't either." Toki's response was extremely well thought out, almost too well thought out for a child no more than six years old. "Oni does so much for us, almost too much sometimes and so many of us have tried to help her in some way, but unfortunately there is nothing we could do to save Oni." With Toki's statement she lowered her head in a state of mourning. What could have happened to her to make her so…cold; so helpless?

(Maybe the same thing that happened you.) Squall cringed at the thought of such a thing and it must have been that thought that drove him to ask his next question. "What happen?"

Suddenly, Toki stopped dead in her walk and slowly turned her head to look at him. Her eyes were full of hurt and pain as she quietly answered, "Only Oni can give you that answer, but if you want some of your other questions answered, you will have to go see Mollia." With that said, Toki continued her walk down the hallway of the tenth floor before speaking again. "Do you wish for me to take you there?"

"Who is Mollia?" 

"Mollia is the oldest of all the patients within this building and is the only one who can give you answers to some of your questions. We call her mother, for she is the maternal figure of us all."

Squall looked down at Toki out of the corner of his eye and then looked back towards the elevator. "Take me."

Toki simply nodded, entered the elevator, and pressed the button for the twelfth floor. When the doors slide open she led him to the end of the hall where a black door stood among all the white ones around them. With a small knock Toki turned the door handle and pushed open the door. 

Squall stepped through while Toki trailed behind him silently. The room they entered was dimly lit with wax candles and a velvet chair was set up in front of a fireplace with its back to them. He took a few more steps before a warm voice spoke out from the turned chair.

"Come child, I don't bite."

Squall slowly came to stand in front of the chair where a small old black woman sat contently cross-stitching what seemed to be a quilt of some kind. She had square glasses sitting on the end of her nose and a head of gray hair. She was small, no more the four foot five and had worn hands. 

She smiled at them and looked over where Toki was standing with her tiny head bowed in respect. "Toki darling."

"Yes mother?"

"Why don't you go back to the Activity Room and play with your friends. I'll take care of our guest." Toki nodded and once again bowed her head before leaving Squall and Mollia alone.

The elderly woman looked at Squall and motioned towards the chair to her left before addressing him. "Have a seat young man and make yourself comfortable. I understand that there are some questions you have for me." 

Squall was completely baffled at how she knew he had come with questions but sat down in the chair she had pointed out anyway. Mollia began to chuckle at his bewildered look and answered his silent question. "No, I can not see the future. I knew you were coming to ask questions because of probability. Almost all new comers are sent here on their first day with questions that only I can answer. Does that answer your question?" 

Squall knitted his eyebrows and looked at the small lady through with amazement and Squall's thoughts agreed. (O' she's good.)

The woman chuckled again before continuing. "Well then my dear boy. Ask away."

"What is this place?"

"Good, you started with the most important question, but you failed to realize that it is also the most obvious." She paused and continued to cross-stitch her quilt. "This is what the professionals call a mental institution, but it is more commonly know among us as an insane asylum; or for the cruder ones, a nut house. It is a place where the "mentally ill" are sent to be…dealt with." Those words caused Squall to shiver and Mollia respectfully gave him a second to calm himself before continuing. "Yet, who is to be the judge of who is "mentally ill" and just different? Personally I don't think such a title should be given to anyone, but I guess that isn't my decision. Anyway, next question."

Squall debated for a minute on whether to ask his originally planned question or ask something else as not to arouse this wise woman's suspicion. But after a few moments he decided to ask anyway, besides she was his roommate. "What's wrong with Oni?"

Mollia's eyes lifted from her quilt at his question and there was an uneasy silence in the room before she answered. "It depends on what you mean by 'wrong'. Do you mean it in the sense of something that is physically harmful or mentally out of place?"

"Neither. I meant personality wise, or should I say lack of." Squall immediately regretted having said those words when he saw the pain in Mollia's eyes. "Excuse my rudeness, I didn't mean it that way."

"No, I'm afraid you do have a point young man. Oni is not like the rest of us, even in a mental sense. She lacks basic emotions that are usually the source of mental instability, but at the same time, she is still able to care for all the patients of this building. It is a sad but true reality for those who once saw her as you would see any other child but that was before the incident." Mollia's voice was soft and sad as see spoke of Oni. It was almost as if she really was speaking about her dearest daughter.

"Incident? What incident?" Squall's curiosity was perked and the need to know about his new roommate was unexpectedly high, but known the less he wished to know.

Mollia shook her head slowly and stared into the orange flames of the fire before her. "That is even a question, I can not answer. There is only one person who can retell those events to you and that person is Oni. Only she is qualified to answer such a question.

"You can not tell me anything? Nothing at all?" He had no idea why he was pushing this subject so far but something kept him wanting to know. 

"What is your name child?"

After a moment he replied, "…Squall."

"Well Squall, there is something I can tell you, but you must listen closely." The old woman stopped her cross-stitching and stared at the flames with a calm expression before continuing in a low voice. "This place has been my home for over fifty years. In this time I have seen it all. Every mental case, every excuse, every story, but in all my time, I have only met one person who could turn disorder, chaos, and misunderstanding into unity, order, and reasoning. That person is Oni. She is able to do all these things for us, but inside Oni suffers. On the outside she seems to be a calm, silent woman with little personality. But the truth is Oni fights a battle within herself. A battle between what, we do not know, but we do know that it is a battle that must be won in her mind." Squall frowned at the elder's words, but allowed her to continue, "Through the short time she has been here, many people have tried to help her, but all have failed. It is thought that no one can help her, that no one can find the key that will free her from her cage." 

Mollia stopped her explaining and looked back over at Squall who was quite confused. "What do you mean?"

For a long moment, neither one spoke, but Mollia broke the silence again. "You see the engraving over the mantle there?" Squall turned his head to look at the gold plaque that hung on the wall. "Oni made that for me. It's a poem she wrote when she turned fifteen. I liked it so much that I told her to make that so I could read it everyday. Yet, it is slightly ironic that it is the same poem that she named herself after."

Squall looked back at Mollia before asking, "What does it say?"

Mollia closed her eyes and in a small voice she quoted the poem, but as the words left her mouth, it was not Mollia's voice that Squall heard, it was Oni's calm, emotionless voice.

_Come into this world that's silent,_

_A world that is unfair and violent._

_Hidden pain and dried up tears,_

_A place that born of all our fears._

_Emptiness fills up this place,_

_We whither in our own disgrace._

_This is where all evil will hide, _

_And where we live on nothing inside._

            Mollia opened her eyes and whispered to Squall through the dim light, "I could say it in my sleep." Squall stared at the floor upon which his chair was set. How could someone who seemed to have no emotion write something so…deep? But before Squall could ask another question, Mollia spoke. "This is all the time we have I'm afraid. Classes are about to begin and you mustn't miss you first day." She began to cross-stitch again but Squall still had one question that needed answering.

            "You said the Oni named herself after that poem. But Oni is not spelled in any of those words. How did she get Oni?"

            For a long time Mollia didn't answer and Squall began to walk away assuming she wouldn't, but as he went to walk to the door her voice came to him again. "Most people think that Oni is spelled O-n-y, but in fact, it is spelled O-n-i. Now tell me, what were the last three word of her poem?"

            Squall thought for a moment then replied, "On nothing inside………wait, Oni stands for 'on nothing inside' doesn't it. " 

            Mollia slowly nodded her head and once again continued to cross-stitch. "Goodbye Squall, I wouldn't want you do be late."

            Nodding, Squall pushed open the door and walked towards the elevator. Once inside, he pushed the button for the ninth floor and with the elevator's hum in the background, Oni's poem played itself again and again in his find. And even as the doors slide open and he walked down the hall his find was still in Mollia's room hearing that poem. And as he stood before room 917, he was unable to shake the three words that had become imprinted on the back of his mind. 

_"On nothing inside…"_

   __


	3. Crimson Past

Walking Blind

**Author's Note: **Interesting, no? Well this is just the beginning for the madness and Squall still has TONS of secrets to uncover, about himself as well as about his mysterious roommate, Oni. It's kind of slow I know, but don't worry, it will pick up soon. 

**Disclaimers: **I don't own any of the songs or Final Fantasy 8.

Chapter 3: Crimson Past 

_What you see is just a shadow,_

_What you see here is not me._

_It's just a broken picture of who I use to be._

_Sometimes I can't remember,_

_Sometimes it isn't clear._

_That what you see before you is built of all my fear._

_My chance at life has pasted me,_

_It all went by so fast._

_No one takes the time to know me and my crimson past._

_~Lynxionia_

            Just as he was about to turn the knob to open the door to room 917, a familiar voice called out to him and he turned to see Toki running towards him. While she caught her breath, Squall stood with arms crossed over his chest losing patience. 

            When she finally gained her composer she spoke to him in a cheery voice. "I almost forgot to tell you. If at anytime you need to know where anything is, what your suppose to do, or maybe just talk, come ask me." She handed him a small folded piece of paper and he took it from her tiny fingers. "This is my room number. I'm on the tenth floor. Ok?" Squall simply nodded and watched as she turned around and began to head back towards the elevator. Suddenly she stopped and turned around to face him again. "Oh, and I never caught your name."

            For a moment he pondered not telling her, as he didn't really like being familiar with people, but decided it wouldn't do any harm and simply replied, "Squall."

            She replied with a nod and then continued her walk to the elevator. Squall turned back to the door, reached in to his pouch, and pulled out the door key. Still holding the folded piece of paper, he entered the room and shut the door behind him. He put the door key back into his pocket and unfolded the piece of paper Toki had given him. 1013 was the number scribbled onto it and Squall shoved the piece of paper into his back pocket before lifting his eyes again. 

            Looking over towards the kitchen he realized for the first time that Oni was silently standing next to the counter with a small book bag on her back. Her arms were crossed and she was looking at him with a completely emotionless face. Making their way out of the room once again, they headed for the elevator. Hitting the button for the sixth floor, they rode the elevator in silence and exited when the doors slid open. Oni passed a few rooms before finally opening one on the right that had a label reading, "Therapy: First Degree". It already sounded bad to Squall, but he entered anyway with Oni leading the way. 

            Upon entering the room, he was presented with the sight of many tables lined up in front of a chalkboard where a doctor stood patiently waiting. "Come in and have a seat. Oh, it seems that we have a new patient. Why don't you sit in the seat that's next to Oni?" The doctor pointed to the seat closes to him and Squall made his way over to it and sat down with the full intention of catching up on some missed sleep. 

            After the doctor took attendance, Dr. O' Reilly, started up some boring speech about self-esteem and its effects on people and Squall crossed his arms and began to let his eyes drift shut. But just as his eyes were about to close, he caught the glimpse of Oni opening her backpack and pulling out a pad of paper and pen. For a moment, he actually thought that she was listening to what the doctor was rambling about, but as he watched her carefully, he realized that she wasn't even looking at the words the doctor was writing on the board. Instead she had her pen out and was scribbling words down on her page and crossing them out here and there. He caught a few of the words here and there and realized she was writing a poem. Finding this as surprising, Squall sat back in his seat and took out the schedule that had been given to him only this morning. Oni was in all his classes and each of their classes started at eleven o'clock and ended at twelve. Their classes were only on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. That was four hours of "therapy" every week. Not that bad, but it would definitely get annoying after a while. 

            Squall found it quite interesting to read the poems that Oni wrote as the doctor continued to talk. After a while though, Oni stopped writing and pulled out a different notebook. Inside, Squall watched as she began to sketch pictures onto the paper. Her first drawing was of a beautiful landscape with a forest and animals here and there. Her second was of a sunset on a beach somewhere with a dove flying towards the sun. Each of these was an interesting depiction, but the most amazing were the last two that were drawn in the book. The third was a portrait of the little girl, Toki. Her face was set in a wide smile and in her tiny hands she held a small stuffed bunny. When Oni felt her work was done she looked at the picture and wrote "To: Toki, From: Oni" up in the corner. With this complete she started on her fourth and final picture. It was a flaming lion jumping out from the page with claws and fangs prepared to strike its unsuspecting prey, whoever it may be. Unconsciously, Squalls hand drifted to the necklace hanging around his neck that was shaped like a lion and bore the name Griever (author note: I think that's what the name was. If that isn't it, e-mail me).

            Then suddenly the doctor stated that the session was over and everyone could go to lunch. Oni closed the drawing book and returned it to her small book bag. Rising, she stood by the door waiting for Squall to follow, which he did and they silently made their way to the elevator and headed for the fourth floor where the cafeteria was located. 

            When they arrived and the elevator door slid open, they entered the cafeteria and were met with the sound of people talking and laughing with their friends while eating their lunches. As soon as Oni put one foot in the door, about four other people attached themselves to her appendages. The smaller ones grabbed onto her legs and the slightly taller grabbed her arms. Squall just stood wondering why all these people were hanging on her and talking faster than lightening. For someone who almost never spoke, she was pretty popular. 

            Oni silenced their pleas and begging and then spoke to them in her emotionless voice. "Today I sit with Toki."

            A few children hung their heads in disappoint but Oni simply walked over to where the perky Toki sat eating her lunch. Squall followed her over to the table and stood there, assuming he wasn't welcome, as no one had even acknowledged his presence. But just as he was about to walk away, Toki spoke up.

            "Hey Squall, why don't you sit with us? I'm sure Oni doesn't find if you sit next to her." 

Toki looked over at Oni and then back at Squall with a wide smile. Oni slid over on the bench to make room for Squall before she rose again leaving Squall with the assumption that she was going to go get her food. Squall had no idea what he was supposed to do so he just sat there and listened to Toki talk to her friends. 

Squall was really starting to get hungry and was having doubts to whether or not he was going to get any food. But just when he was about to end lunch early, Oni reappeared with two trays full of food, put one down in front of him, then sat down and began to eat bits and pieces off of her own tray. When she had picked through it enough, she threw it away and silently listened to Toki talk about various things with her friends. Squall finished his "lunch" (which consisted of beans, a slab of meat, stale corn bread, and a pill of mush that they claimed was mashed potatoes) he sat there just letting his mind drift back to Balamb where his first love had turned his world back into a dark shadow, but just as he was about to drift away completely, Oni rose from the table and made her way out of the cafeteria. Squall followed her out and took one last look back at Toki who waved at him as he exited. 

            The silent pair made their way back up to the ninth floor where room 917 was located and upon entering, Oni tossed her door key onto the kitchen counter and set her book bag down, but not before she pulled her sketch book out and walked over to her bed. Propping herself up against a pillow, Oni pulled up her knees and opened her sketchbook to a page then began drawing. Squall guessed that this was "free time", so he walked over to where his small suitcase lay and began to unpack his things. Through the small curtain, he could see the outline of her fingers moving over the page and her head moving this way and that do get a better view. 

            (She's so…detached from everyone else, but at the same time everyone seems to treat her as a …sister.) His own mind mused in the back of his head about his silent roommate. In an attempt to stop this musing, Squall let his thoughts drift to the small girl named Toki. She was such an innocent little child. He wondered what could have made someone even think of putting such an innocent little girl in a place like this. What could possibly be "wrong" with her? 

Even with thoughts of Toki running through his mind he couldn't shake the image of Oni whenever he looked closed his eyes. Her crimson eyes were just so cold, but at the same time, painful. Her voice was flat and emotionless, but she spoke to Toki with such care. 

As Squall thought silently to himself, he realized that Oni had never once directed any statements towards him at all. It was almost as if she was ignoring him, but then she acknowledged his presence at lunch earlier so she must not be completely ignoring him. He threw a glance back to the shadow on the other side of the thin curtain. Maybe it was known of his business to know about her, but still, she baffled him to no end. 

Suddenly Squall was pulled from his train of thought when a knock sounded at the door. Oni rose from her seated position and answered the noise. When the door was pulled open, a smiling Toki appeared with a big red ball. 

Toki looked up at Oni who was looking at her through her cold eyes, but Toki seemed to find no alarm in her gaze. "Hello Oni! Is Squall in here?" Oni stepped aside from the door to reveal Squall sitting on his bed with a careless expression on his face. Toki bounded over to him and plopped down next to him on the bed before speaking. "Hey Squall, why don't you and Oni come outside with me and play with all the other kids! It is free time you know." Squall just sat there not really knowing what to say, but Toki looked over at Oni and put on her best puppy-dog face. "Pleeeeeeeeease Oni!" 

Oni sighed lightly before nodding, causing Toki to jump up in excitement. Grabbing her sketchbook and pencils again, Oni prepared to leave the room once again. Squall quickly grabbed a pad of paper and a pencil before following Oni and Toki out of the room to the elevator. The button for the 1st floor was pushed and they made their way down to the main floor where the back door was to the grounds. 

Out in the spacious yard, little children as well as teens and young adults ran around playing tag and varies other games, older kids lined the picnic tables playing cards and talking, and sitting at one of the picnic tables, Mollia was circled by a group of kids and her warm, elderly voice was telling fantasy stories about great adventures no doubt. When she saw Squall, she smiled like a maternal figure would and then continued her story. Toki ran off to where a group of her friends were standing and showed them her big red ball. They all yelled in happiness and began to play some sort of game together. Taking a seat under a large tree away from the majority of people were playing, Oni began to draw in her sketchbook once again. Squall, however, didn't sit next to her as he usually did; instead, he sat propped up against the building in a shadowy part of the area and pulled out his note pad and pencil. Looking around him, Squall began to write down ideas that came to his mind while looking at the people around him. In this new environment, maybe, just maybe, being here wouldn't be so bad.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Out of the corner of her eye, Oni looked at the former Commander with slight confusion running in her mind. He wasn't like the many others who had come to stay at The Ocean's Shore. Something in the way he presented himself in a non-threatening way made him seem kind. He hadn't even spoken to her, but she could already tell that he was different somehow. There was no way that she could explain what she sensed, it was almost…she didn't know what it was really. 

Sitting down under one of the age old trees that was away from everyone else, she flipped open her sketchbook and looked through the many drawings of animals, landscapes, and people that had forever been hidden from everyone's eyes. Memories as well as simple thoughts, all put on paper, never to be seen. No one ever saw her drawings and she didn't think that she would be sharing them anytime soon. Closing her eyes, she let her hand turn her ideas into subjects to draw. After she decided what she wanted to sketch, Oni began to draw under the old tree as she had done for so long for each drawing symbolized something in her life. 

So many things had changed since those two years, and she can still remember the first day her life turned against her. That day, living simply became an existence, a state of being. To no point or purpose except to live on and deny that that man had control over her. To keep on going no matter what, that was her motivation for getting up in the morning, for getting through everyday without going insane. All of it was to deny him control, to give up was to give in and that was something she could never do. 

Mollia sat over at the picnic table telling her stories as she always did. Mollia was the only person who really knew who she was without having to be told what happened to Oni. The elder of all of them knew her for who she really was and not just an empty shell with no emotion. Oni knew what people thought of her, they thought of her as their sister who cared for them and would always be there. But Oni felt the weight of everyday that passed by. With every moment her body grew heavier by only a fraction of a percent, but it grew heavier nonetheless. How much longer could she make it through each day and still have energy for the next? It was something that would only be answered in time, which was something she didn't have. 

Sighing to herself, Oni finished her drawing, closed her sketchbook, and rose to go back inside. It was getting late and she didn't feel like sitting out with all the noise of the children ringing in her ears. Walking back to where the entrance to the building was, she watched as Squall also arose from his place against the building wall and followed her back to the room they now shared. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Upon entering, Oni tossed her key onto the table near the door and put her sketchbook back in the bag she had been carrying earlier. He watched as she grabbed some clothes out of a dresser and laid them on the bed before walking into the small kitchen and pouring herself a glass of water. 

Making his way over to the bed that was now his, he put his notepad down on the nightstand and realized that he hadn't had any dinner of any sort and was quite hungry because of the extremely small amount of food he ate at lunch. Suddenly, he heard the clatter of pots and pans from the kitchen, which jerked his train of thought away from his growling stomach to the loud noise. Pulling back the curtain between the two beds just slightly, he could see Oni bent over pulling items from the small fridge and putting them out on the counter. From the look of her actions he figured that she was going to cook herself some kind of dinner. Squall's stomached screamed at him as he realized he was probably going to have to go without dinner tonight and, if this schedule continued, he wouldn't be eating dinner for a while. 

Settling against his pillow and releasing a heavy sigh, he let his mind slip away back to garden, where he had lived though all the memories he could still remember thanks to the GF's. And, as expected, his thoughts eventually drifted to _her_ that woman who ruined every chance he would have had to live a normal life with no regrets and second-guessing. Her arrival had changed his world forever, but whether that change was good or bad could be thoroughly debated. As far as he was concerned, she had put him in a worse situation than he had been in before she came, but there was nothing he could do now. Why couldn't she have understood? Why did she have to do what she did to him after all they had shared? It was like a tornado. He had started out in the swirling winds of the storm and then he found the calm with her, but had eventually found the storm again, and the only place to go was the other side. And he wasn't really sure he wanted to find that other side, because if it was anything like the first one, then he was sure he didn't want to.

Well, there wasn't anything he could do now, so he might as well stop dwelling on it. Letting his thought drift away from _her_, he suddenly caught a new image. It was his mysterious roommate and her extremely defining features. Only once had he seen eyes of crimson and a sorceress had held them. His silent roommate's hair was of a black he had never seen and her skin was a copper tone only found in the earth itself. 

(She seems to be so…sad, but the children, no, everyone, acts as if she was the cheeriest person in the whole place. How can someone be so emotionless and still be loved like a sister?) He let his mind muse over this freely and somehow wondered if this was how people thought of him. (Well, you were emotionless to _her_ and _she_ STILL cared enough to bug the hell out of you.) At this thought, he frowned and tried to once again get his thoughts away from _her_. In this attempt, he started thinking about Oni again. (Some how, she reminds me so much of myself…but I don't know how. I don't even know anything about her, but I feel like I've met her…somewhere.) He once again stole a glance over at the figure on the other side of the curtain that was cooking her dinner on the small stove. The thoughts of the mysterious red-eyed girl he was sharing a room with seemed to be ever present and he decided that he would just stay quiet until she said something and, who knows, maybe he would somehow find out about her. 

After he had finished his musing, he simply shut his eyes and ignored all the little voices in his head long enough to slightly drift off to sleep, but just as he was about to complete fall into yet another nightmare, the most startling and unexpected thing happened. The voice he had only heard when it was addressing others spoke to him. 

"Squall." 

His eyes shot open at the realization that someone was speaking to him, but he was more surprised than anything to have heard Oni speak to him for the first time. Squall blinked twice and then recovered from his shock so that he could answer her. "Yes…"

In her hands was what looked like a bowl of some liquid, but with the extremely dim lighting Squall couldn't quite see what she was holding. "You must be hungry." 

Looking from the bowl to Oni and then back at the bowl again, Squall simply nodded and got up to go sit at the small table where Oni set the bowl down in front of him. She took the seat across from him and began to eat out of her own bowl. Taking small bits, Squall ate the food that Oni had made and realized that she had yet again done something for him without even asking. Silent was her every move, but the moves were there nonetheless. He had not asked for her to get him lunch, he hadn't asked for her to make him dinner. She just DID. 

Continuing to eat the food, which turned out to be some sort of soup, the newest patient at The Ocean's Shore stole a glance over at the enigma called Oni to capture her facial features again. Her face was set in its usual "silent" expression with her crimson orbs not really focusing on anything in particular but still seemed to be concentrating on something. Looking a little closer, Squall could see something else in her eyes that he hadn't notice before. It was just barely there and it took a lot of studying her face to see it. An all to familiar emotion that plagued him even now; deep sadness and utter pain. Although hers was of a different sort it was still there and he suddenly felt…he didn't know what he felt really. It wasn't like sympathy or pity…no it was something else. Almost like a mutual understanding of how she felt, but that was completely stupid because he had not the slightest clue to what she had gone through. 

After a few more minutes, Squall looked back down at his half eaten soup and became lost in his own thoughts again. (I wonder if she just doesn't have emotions, but then how could she treat Toki and everyone else the way she does? Maybe once she wasn't so distant, maybe somehow, somewhere inside her Oni is…)

"You were a SeeD once." 

Squall was once again yanked from thinking process by the calm voice of Oni. For a second, he didn't say or do anything as he was still trying to process what she had said, but after a moment he recovered and simply nodded before looking away. "Yeah…_was_."

"At Balamb garden."

Squall nodded again, not really wanting to talk about it. (That place reminds me of..._her_.) At that thought Squall flinched slightly and turned his head further away from Oni's penetrating gaze that had shifted to look over at him. 

Despite Squall obvious intention to avoid the subject, Oni did not stop her words from coming. "You are the one who led a group of people against Ultimecia and defeated her."

At the sound of the sorceress name, Squall's head turned suddenly to look at her and a pair of angry blue eyes glared at her. "So, why does it matter?" He held his annoyed expression that usually made people quickly apologize and leave him alone, but Oni just stared back at him as if he nothing had changed.

Her fire pools looked at him with a completely impassive expression and just as the ocean met the flame Squall's expression soften ever so slightly and Oni answered his angry question with one of her own. "Do you miss being there?"

Surprise whipped through his eyes at her question and its forwardness. Did he miss being Commander of the Balamb SeeDs? The answer came to him before he even finished processing the question. A single word left his mouth as he continued to look at her. "No."

"Why?" 

That question. The one question that plagued him since the beginning. The one question he couldn't answer no matter how hard he tried. He had thought and thought and still hadn't been able to come up with an answer, but as he looked into the eyes of this strange woman he found an answer to that question. "Because…_she_ is there." The words escaped his mouth before he realized he had said them and when he realized he had, Squall shuddered at the thought of _her_. 

He half expected Oni to ask yet another question in which he would have to endure more painful memories, but what he expected didn't come.  Yet, what she did say was quite unexpected. "Sorry. Those memories bother you." With this simple apology, Oni lift her bowl and rose from the table.

Suddenly, Squall rose from the table as well and carried his bowl into the kitchen where Oni was washing out her own. Waiting for her to finish he felt like he needed to say something and after a few moments of silence he spoke again. "Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything." 

At his sudden words Oni stopped drying her bowl out and turned around to look at him and Squall saw the tiny hint of surprise past through her features before she nodded and turned back around. Both of them finished clean out their bowls and put them back in the small cabinet. A silence fell over them again and Squall got the feeling that he wanted to say something but didn't know whether or not she would answer. 

After a few minutes he decided to go ahead and chance it. "What about you? What did you do before coming here?"

An extremely heavy silence fell over the two new roommates for a very long time and as the moments stretched on, Squall believed she wasn't going to answer. Her back was turned to him and she just stood there as if someone had pressed the pause button on some unseen device. 

Squall stood only a few feet away from her and simply stood waiting for her answer trying to non-verbally tell her he was waiting by not moving or saying anything. 

"I don't remember." Oni quickly picked the clothes that had been lying on the end of her bed and disappeared behind the door to the bathroom. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~                       

In the isolated space of the bathroom, she stood looking in the mirror at her reflection. When did she become just a shell? Just a broken person with only one reason for living? Is that...who she is now? 

Oni bowed her head away from the mirror and closed her crimson eyes. Two years had pasted but she still wasn't able to get away from the nightmares that plagued her. But in those two years she had never once taken the time to think about her past. There was a time when she questioned her past, but ever since the "incident" she had stopped caring all together. Yet, today for the first time in those two years she had really thought about it. When Squall had asked her where she had come from and what she had done, Oni had honestly tried to answer him, but had found that she didn't have an answer. 

Sighing to herself, Oni changed into her sleeping attire, which consisted of a pair of pajama pants and a tang top. Her long silk like hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and a white silk robe finished the look. Oni then took off all of her jewelry including her watch and stepped out of the bathroom. 

Upon exiting, Oni was presented with the sight of her new roommate discarding his black leather jacket and then doing the same with his white T-shirt. He took a heavy sigh and stretched his arms out trying to relieve some of the stress in the muscles that were probably almost always tight.

Even though Oni was not one to go around eyeing guys, she still took time to appreciate his physical attraction. He had perfectly even shoulder blades and every muscle from his biceps to his abs was a work of art. There was no denying that he was attractive and Oni was not about to try. Yet despite this attractiveness, Oni was not about to forget her past mistakes so easily and Squall was no exception. He didn't affect her in a physical way and she planned to keep it that way. 

Walking over to her bed, Oni checked the clock on the nightstand and decided that it was time for another attempt at sleeping. Oni pulled back the covers to her queen sized bed and pulled off her silk robe before laying it on the end of her bed. The heat from the summer day had warmed up the room considerably. This she could tell from the way that Squall was lightly fanning himself on the other side of the curtain and Oni decided to sleep without her pajama pants. 

Without any hesitation, Oni pulled off her pants completely exposing her white panties for all to see, but she could have cared less. She had never cared about what people thought of her and she wasn't about to start now. 

Wearing only her tang top and underwear, Oni climbed into her queen-sized bed and then flicked off the small light before letting her eyes drift shut.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            _"I don't remember."_ At those words Squall had truly thought she was just playing with him, but as her face turned ever so slightly, he saw the blank look in her eyes and realized that she was dead serious.  She really couldn't remember. He didn't even have to question any further than that. He could just tell that she didn't remember anything. But...nothing? Not any parents or past life?

            Even his friends...no, not friends, "previous acquaintances" had not truly known who their parents were, but they did know about their lives before becoming SeeDs. How could someone not know who he or she once was? 

            (Under certain circumstances anyone can make themselves forget things. Maybe she made herself forget her past.) His mind started to try and explain the possibilities to him as it always did. Yet what could have happened to someone to make him or her completely forget how he or she once was? It had to be something extremely painful if that's the measure she was willing to take. But if he had the ability to forget about _her_, he would, but Squall knew that he could never truly forget _her_. 

            Squall decided that he had done enough thinking for one day and he walked over to the queen-sized bed that had been dubbed his. Sitting down on the end of it, he let out a sigh knowing that it would be just another nightmare filled night with the ever-present voice along with them. But nonetheless, Squall stood from his bed and pulled off his black leatherjacket along with his white T-shirt, which left him standing in only his black pants, black socks, black boots, and boxers. His always-tight muscles were beginning to really ach and he pointlessly tried to stretch them to relieve them of some stress, but to no avail. 

            Has he finished his "stretch", Squall heard the sound of extremely light footfalls coming towards his general area and he looked over to see Oni wearing her sleeping attire and slightly off white robe. Her long ebony hair was pulled up into a tight high ponytail while the dim light reflected off of her almond skin. 

            The humidity was heating up the room rather badly and Squall began to fan himself with his hand to rid his skin of some of the sweat now forming. It was going to be a really hard time getting to sleep in this kind of atmosphere. From his side of the curtain, Squall could see Oni standing near her bed simply looking at it as if it were an object she didn't wish to touch. Then slowly, her head rose and she pulled the covers back to her queen-sized bed. Her next action made Squall take a double take, just to make sure it really happened. Oni began to pull off the seemingly see though robe and lay it on the end of the bed, which was completely expected. But right after that she seemed to look out the window before pulling off her pajama pants and laying them next to her robe. Squall blinked a few times but kept his cold, silent expression on his face. Her white bikini style underwear was exposed for the entire world to see.  

            She could have cared less whether he was just glancing or out right staring. She wasn't one to really care about other's personal opinions and if Squall had a problem with her, it was pretty clear that he had better take it up with someone who cared. With her pants now M.I.A. Oni climbed into bed and pulled all the covers on top of her despite the extreme heat. 

            Squall also discarded his pants, socks, and boots, but did so after she had turned her back to him. When he was clad in only his boxers, he climbed into his bed, but pushed all the covers including the sheets to the end. It was way to hot to be sleeping with that many covers and he was beginning to wonder whether or not Oni was going to be alive in the morning because he was pretty convinced that she would die of a heat stroke. 

            After about a half an hour of trying to fall asleep, Squall realized that it was just too humid for him to fall asleep. It felt like he was being baked alive in a pizza oven while his silent roommate slept as if it was in the middle of winter. Tossing and turning, Squall just couldn't seem to find a comfortable position without burning up. Was it always _this_ humid at night in this place during summer? 

            Yet, just as Squall was about to take a walk outside, he heard the ruffling of sheets from the other side of the curtains and the sound of light footfalls moving about the room. He sat up and looked over to see Oni open the window at the back of the room. The moonlight that was spilling through the window cast highlights on her body. Squall simply sat and watched her movement across the carpet until she climbed back into her bed, pulled the covers over her, and went back to sleep. 

            Squall just sat there with his infamous scowl on his face trying to understand why she had done that. Not wanting to think much more about it, he lay down still with out covers and shut his eyes, hoping that he would be relieved of the dreams that plagued him. 

            Unknown to him, a pair of fire eyes watched him from the other side of the curtain. Her gaze was emotionless as ever, but something deep with her soul, buried beneath years of endless suffering, began to stir. As a fire spark has the chance to be the start of a forest inferno, so the stir in Oni's soul may be the beginning of something much greater. 

            After more time had pasted, Oni began to let sleep take her to that place where the only comfort was the sound of her own voice crying to the darkness for release. In this place where the pain was felt and the screaming from her past became real. The emotion, the touches, and the harsh breathing surged around her and refused to let go. This was her battle, this was her struggle, but this was her motive to live. To deny that the beast that created these evil realities would never be able to completely take her, this was why she lived. In this place that she may never be saved from, her crimson past. 

_"Help me..."_


	4. Secret Tears

**Walking Blind**

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took so long to get out but I've been pretty busy. This is a pretty long chapter, so now I can get writing on some of my other stories. This is going to be an important chapter. A lot of information about Oni and Squall that is kind of hard to catch will be in here. I've also decided to add a few funny moments in here just for fun. Just pay attention to small details and enjoy!

**Disclaimer's:** Final Fantasy 8 doesn't belong to me and neither does the song "Lying From You" by Linkin Park. No, it's not mine, but it's not yours either so THERE!

Chapter 4: Secret Tears 

_Hidden from the eyes around,_

_Away where they won't see._

_A place where I can rest is where I want to be._

_I'm trying to win the battle,_

_So then I'll win the war,_

_Once I complete this I'll spread my wings and soar._

_Until then I am waiting,_

_Surviving dreams at night,_

_The monsters in my mind are what I always fight._

_Hold back my cries of anguish,_

_Bottle up my fears,_

_But I can't help the falling of my secret tears._

_Lynxionia_

Sunlight floods through the window of the room shared by two of The Ocean's Shore's patients. The wind is lightly blowing the curtains on the wall and the birds can be heard chirping from the open window. If it weren't for the circumstances he was in, Squall would have said it was a nice morning. Instead, he shielded his eyes from the offending light now flooding the room and rolled over so that his face was buried in his pillow.

The sheets and comforter were both thrown to the end of the bed and his leg was hanging off the side from his endless tossing during the night. The breeze that the cracked window created was welcome to him in the extreme heat of the summer weather. The sunlight not permitting him to sleep any longer, he sat up out of bed and look over to the other side of the curtain to see that Oni was still lying in her bed with all her covers and sheets on. He noticed that besides the fact that she had all her covers on in 90 degree weather, something wasn't right. Her breathing was heavier than it should be and he knew she HAD to be hot with all those covers.

Frowning, Squall swung his legs to the side of his bed and sat up facing the curtain that separated the two queen size beds. He continued to watch the mysterious girl on the other side of the curtain breath heavily and show obvious signs of discomfort. A few more minutes pasted and Squall wasn't really sure if he should wake her or just let her wake on her own.

The decision was made for him as Oni suddenly sat up out of her bed and emotionless eyes snapped open. Her breathing was heavy but still controlled somehow. She calmed herself, slowly pulled each leg out of bed and grabbed the robe lying at the end. Putting her arms into the robe and then pulling it closed, she walked over to his side of the curtain and looked at him.

Her hair was in a slight state of disarray, but she still looked like she was in a sort of "control", if that was what it could be called. It was then that he realized he was still clad only his boxers and he quickly grabbed the robe that he found to be laying on the end of his bed and wrapped it around himself, trying not to look rushed.

"You can take a shower if you want. I'll have breakfast made by the time you're done." With that, she turned and walked to the kitchen pulled out three pans and placed them on the stove.

Squall rose from his seat on the bed and grabbed a pair of black jean pants, a white T-shirt, a pair of socks, and fresh boxers before he made his way over to the bathroom at the back of the small "apartment". He looked around the bathroom and found that there weren't any towels lying in there. So, he walked out of the bathroom again to ask Oni for one. Just as he opened his mouth to ask, Oni spoke.

"There are towels in the cabinet at the end over there." She lifted a hand from the eggs she was beating to point at the cabinet at the fair end. Squall grabbed a fresh black towel and went back into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

Turning the knob in the shower to warm, he pulled off his boxers and waited for the water to warm slightly before stepping in. The water was just a little cold when he did step in and, jumping slightly, tried to become use to the cool liquid. After a few minutes the water had warmed and Squall turned the knob even more until it went as far to the left as it would go. Scolding hot water poured out over his tense muscles while he reached for a bottle of shower gel that was resting on the ledge. He half expected it to be some fruity or flowery scent that a woman would use, but was surprised to find that the fragrance was coco butter. Lathering up the gel, he washed off the sweat from the night heat and let the hot water clean him of the suds. Reaching for the shampoo he was curious as to what fragrance it would be, but when he read the label he was not surprised to see that it said "Red Rose".

(Women.) His mind rolled his eyes at the ridiculous scents that women pick out. Having no other choice, he poured a quarter-sized amount of the shampoo into his hand and lifted it to his nose to see just how bad it was. A big surprise came to him when he smelt the shampoo in his hand. It had an airy, almost distant smell that was that of a rose, but it wasn't a heavy, thick scent that would drive you crazy. No, it could have been cologne if he didn't know any better. Rubbing the gel between his hands, he massaged the shampoo into his hair quite pleased at the soft feeling it had to it. Finishing with the shampooing, he rinsed it out and made a grab for the conditioner that was sitting next to the shampoo. He checked the label and saw that it read, "White Rose". Curiosity capturing him again, he put some in his hand and was pleased to find that it smelled a lot like the shampoo did. The combination of the two was quite nice really. For a fraction of a second, he actually wondered what it would smell like on Oni, but the thought left as soon as it came.

Finishing his scent filled shower, he stepped out and dried himself with the black towel that he found to be quite soft. As he brought it up to dry his face, he caught the smell of...what was that smell? It was quite pleasant, but he couldn't give it a name. Finishing with the drying of his skin, he reached for his clothes sitting by the sink and began to pull on his boxers followed by his pants and socks. The mirror was clouded over by the steam in the small bathroom and he decided to air out the hot space. Grabbing his shirt in one hand and his towel in the other, he exited the bathroom, completely forgetting about the woman who was standing in a robe making breakfast right outside.

Letting the door swing open, he stepped out into the warm room and brought the towel to his dripping wet hair in the process. Shirt in hand and towel in hair, he was met with the sight of Oni looking at him from the kitchen where she was finishing the eggs. Her face was in its same emotionless position as if she had seen someone with a fur coat on come out of her bathroom.

He just stood for a second, not really knowing what to do. Should he just ignore the strange situation, or should he run back into the bathroom? Well, running into the bathroom would make the current predicament look even more embarrassing and would probably serve only to make him look like a naive little boy who just walked out of the shower naked in front of his big brother's girlfriend. (Author's note: I have NO idea WHERE that came from.) Instead, deciding to just ignore it, he walked over to the chair at the small dining table and sat down, still holding his shirt in his hand and drying his hair with the other. Then, using his hands, he straightened out the towel-ruffled hair with his fingers so that it had its "tossed" effect that he wore all the time.

(Author's Note: Now let's think about this for a second. Two people are sharing one room that has two beds, one kitchen, one table, and a bathroom. Now what just happened? The woman stood there clad in only a robe that hid only her tag top and underwear while the man just walked out of her bathroom wearing no shirt and had wet hair from his shower. Any "normal" girl would have turned the color of a cherry and turned away out of complete and total embarrassment (and absolute wonder ) that a very handsome man just walked out of her bathroom wearing no shirt. A few bolder people would have probably done something else, but we all know that. Talk about some SERIOUS tension and I'm not talking about the kind in a rubber band. But we must remember that this is Oni and she is NOT some silly little girl who is going to blush every time she sees some REALLY hot guy's chest. Although we all know I would. Yes, she has self-control, I don't. Just thought I'd clear that up.)

After "tossing" his hair, he pulled his white shirt on over his head and sat waiting for Oni to finish the food she was making for them. A few moments later, Oni walked over to the table and laid a plate of food consisting of scrambled eggs, potatoes, and bacon down in front of the clean man now sharing her room with her.

Squall slowly ate his food as Oni did the same and no words passed between them. Both of them finished around the same time and Oni took both of their plates to the sink and washed them thoroughly.

Squall rose from seat and watched as she grabbed a pair of underwear, a bra, socks, a pair of short jean shorts, and a white tang top that had a red phoenix on the front. It was similar to the outfit he had met her in, simple, but in the heat, anyone could have cared less. She walked towards the bathroom and grabbed a towel before entering. Then, with a small click, locked herself away for a shower.

This seemed a perfect time to make his bed and check his schedule for today's therapy. The first one had already proved to be pretty damn boring, but he could just sit there and sleep. Or maybe he could try Oni's method and write a poem or something. He was DEFINITY not a poet, but it pasted time so, why not? Not like he had anything better to do. What else WAS there to do?

His mind made up, he made his bed and then sat on it simply waited for something to happen. Laying his head back on the pillow and letting his mind wander freely over nothing, he let his eyes drift shut. He sifted though his memories that were now just one thing, memories. They were no longer part of his life, or at least, he wished they weren't, but he knew that they would forever haunt him. Letting his thoughts drift past this, another train of thought took hold of him. The dream. He had it again last night. Same as it always was. He had had it so many times that he no longer awoke with a start or a jump. Every single night it was the same thing over and over and over again. There was always that voice echoing through his mind as if it were a part of his very soul.

_"Help me..."_

Those two words plagued him. They were the reason that _she_ had come to hate him so much. _She_ had thought he was dreaming of another woman somewhere that he was supposedly cheating on her with. But the truth is, he knew something that _she_ never knew he knew. _She _was the one who was cheating. _She_ had been caught red handed with another guy somewhere by his own friends. He never said a word to _her_ about it. He decided that he would give _her_ a chance and see if _she_ would stop doing it without him having to say anything. _She_ never did. And _she_ never even showed any sign that _she_ wanted to leave him. Not a word. That was the dirt in the open wound. To know that _she_ never said a word and _she_ never knew he knew. Now that he really thought about it, there wasn't anything he could have done to make _her_ stay anyway. Deep inside, he wished he had never met _her_ and then he never would have ended up where he was now. But something else told him that things happened for a reason even if he couldn't see that reason now.

The sound of a door slowly opening brought him back to the present and Oni walked out from the bathroom. The jean shorts and white tag top fit her body nicely, and long damp black hair was spilled out over her clean shoulders. Fire pools seemed to glow through the semi lit room. Walking to the hamper next to the bathroom door, Oni dropped her sleeping attire into it and made her way to her bed.

Letting her weight sink into the mattress, the red-eyed enigma searched through the drawer in her nightstand for something. After a few seconds, she pulled out an object that Squall didn't quite catch, for she put it into her little bag resting next to her bed. Picking up the bag and slinging it over her shoulder, Oni rose from her bed and headed for the door. Looking over her shoulder at him she spoke, her voice void of feeling.

"You can come if you wish, but you don't have to."

Turning back towards the door, Squall thought about staying and just doing nothing, but decided that he might as well go since he had nothing else to do. If he were back at Balamb, this constant coming and going would have annoyed him to death, but now, he could have cared less. It was true, the past two and a half years had changed the way he cared about things. He cared only for things that didn't require much emotional energy. Moving from place to place was one of those things.

Rising from his bed, he headed for the door where Oni was waiting and was sure to grab his notepad before he left. Making their way to the elevator, Oni pressed the button for the 3rd floor where the Activity Room was. Silent as always, the elevator took the patients to the floor they wanted. Exiting the elevator, they entered the activity room where everyone was playing and talking. Toki was sitting at her usual table talking and laughing with her friends. Upon seeing them enter, she came bounding over in her always-cheerful mood.

She ran up to Oni first and embraced her knees as a small child would embrace her mother and looked up into the red eyes that were looking down at her. Oni bent down to tiny Toki's level and patted the little girl on the head causing her to giggle and throw her arms around the older woman's neck. Surprisingly to Squall, Oni hugged the little child back but kept the same careless expression on her face.

Pulling away, Toki smiled even wider and spoke in her high cheery voice. "Morning Oni! You can come and sit at our table again if you want to. Did you bring your music?"

Oni nodded to the little girl and pulled the Cd out of her small backpack and put it into the tiny fingers outstretched towards her. Toki graciously took it and looked back up at Oni before asking her, "Which number?"

"Number 4"

Toki nodded her head rabidly and ran off to a huge sound system sitting near the back that was currently playing some REALLY horrible therapy music that the doctors put on everyday. Pulling out the terrible Cd, Toki put in Oni's Cd and turned it to number four while turning up the sound to the highest level.

After a few seconds, the system read the Cd and a strange drumbeat came through the speakers followed by heavy bass and the sound of all the patients cheering for the change in music. With the music turned up loud, words were being sung that went with the singers on the Cd.

_When I pretend _

_Everything is what I want it to be_

_I look exactly like what you had always _

_Wanted to see_

_When I pretend_ __

_I can forget about the criminal I am_

_Stealing second after second just 'cause_

_I know I can_

_ But I can't pretend this is the way_

_ It will stay_

_ I'm just trying to bend the truth_

_I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be_

_So I'm lying my way from you _

The words to the song sounded a lot like how he felt when he had been with _her _and how he felt now. He was trying to change and be what _she_ had so desperately wanted him to be, but that person was someone he wasn't. He had thought that if he could somehow convince _her_ that he was that person, maybe he could convince himself. That was one of the most ignorant ideas he had ever had.

_(No/no turning back now)_

_I wanna be pushed aside_

_So let me go_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Let me take back my life _

_I'd rather be all alone_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Anywhere on my own_

_'Cause I can see_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_The very worst part of you_

_Is me_

He wanted to be by himself and away from everyone else because he was afraid of being hurt by the emotions that made him the way he was. But _she_ wanted him to become the guy who could be like everyone else and smile like _her_. Every thought he had was kept inside, but _she_ urged, no, insisted, that he needed to share these thoughts with everyone else. Look what happened in the end.

_I remember what they taught to me_

_Remember condescending talk _

_Of who I ought to be_

_Remember listening to all of that_

_And this again_

_So I pretended up a person who was fitting in_

_And now you think this person_

_Really is me, and I'm_

_(Trying to bend the truth)_

_But the more I push_

_The more I'm pulling away_

_'Cause I'm lying my way from you_

_She _had told him that he needed to be open to people and more understanding. Everyone wanted him to be someone he wasn't and he had tried to do that. He let himself be told over and over that he needed to change, but every time they told him that, he felt like he was losing himself.

_(No/no turning back now)_

_I wanna be pushed aside_

_So let me go_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Let me take back my life _

_I'd rather be all alone_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Anywhere on my own_

_'Cause I can see_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_The very worst part of you_

_The very worst part of you_

_Is me _

Why couldn't _she_ have accepted him for who he was? Why did he have to be someone else before he was good enough? What was wrong with who he was? It was true, some things _she_ had changed about him were good, but those small changes were never enough, _she_ always needed more. Always more.

_This isn't what I want it to be_

_I never thought that what I said _

_Would have you running from me_

_Like this_

_This isn't what I want it to be_

_I never thought that what I said _

_Would have you running from me_

_Like this (LIKE THIS!)_

_This isn't what I want it to be_

_I never thought that what I said _

_Would have you running from me_

_Like this (LIKE THIS!)_

_This isn't what I want it to be_

_I never thought that what I said _

_Would have you running from me_

_Like this_

After everything he had tried to change for _her_, after all the things he tried to do, it wasn't enough. In the end _she_ had the nerve to accuse him of cheating when _she_ was the culprit all along. _She_ turned on him and left him, alone. But was it for the worst? Or maybe, the best?

_You! _

_(No/no turning back now)_

_I wanna be pushed aside_

_So let me go_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Let me take back my life _

_I'd rather be all alone_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_Anywhere on my own_

_'Cause I can see_

_(No/no turning back now)_

_The very worst part of you_

_The very worst part of you_

_Is me_

The song ended and the next one started but Squall found himself still lost in the first. Just how much would it have taken before _she_ saw the grand amount of care he once had for _her_? Now all he felt was utter disgust and anger towards that woman, no, not woman, girl who could never understand how he truly felt. Never.

Now he was here, at The Ocean's Shore where he lived in room 917 with a red eyed, black haired woman who was even quieter than him, although having a silent roommate was a welcome change from who he us to share his time with. Oni wasn't constantly asking him to do things for her, she didn't complain about how quiet he was. No, Oni let him have his space and never nagged or got angry when he walked out of the bathroom without a shirt. Squall was pretty confident that he would have no problem living at The Ocean's Shore as long as it stayed like this.

A tiny hand jerking on his larger one pulled him out of his train of thought that he seemed to be getting lost in lately. He looked over to his right at the table he was sitting at to see Toki tugging lightly on his hand. Surprised by her actions, Squall stared at her for a second before the little child spoke.

Tiny Toki just smiled up at him in a cute innocent fashion and giggled before asking, "Hey Squall, some of my friends wanted to know how you got that." Toki unexpectedly stood up on the bench so that she was at his eye level and put her tiny finger against the bridge of his nose.

Utter surprise fell over Squall features at the child's innocent jester of touching her fingers to his scar to indicate what she was talking about. But feeling the soft flesh pressed to the place where the mark was made a strange feeling come over him. Such an innocent intention, but it brought back bad memories for the former Commander. How should he answer? Should he answer at all? Squall searched for the right option and finally decided to just tell the little girl the truth instead of snapping at her.

With his own hand he brought it up to Toki's much smaller one that was pressed to his face and pulled it away gently before answering, "I got into a fight with someone. I was winning, but he cheated because he wanted to win really badly. So he cheated and hurt me." He had tried his best to explain it to her in the simplest way hoping it made sense to her.

For the first time, Squall saw Toki's features twist into a frown at his words and she spoke in a pout, "What a mean person, to cheat like that and hurt you. That person must be pure evil."

All of Toki's friends nodded their heads in agreement with these words. Squall looked into the small child's eyes trying to find words to say, but just as he was about to say something, Oni beat him to it.

"Toki, no one is pure evil, everyone has the potential to be good. It is a choice, you know that. That person obviously chose to do something mean, but that doesn't mean he is pure evil."

Oni's light scolding sounded strange to Squalls ears. He hadn't expected something like that to be told to a child of Toki's age, but he didn't say anything about it.

Toki's frown lessened, but she answered Oni in an indignant tone. "I know, but that's just plain rude. Who would be mean enough to cheat just so that they can hurt someone as nice as Squall?"

These words truly baffled the former Commander. Someone as nice as him? He was nice? This little girl no older than six had said he was nice? Those were not words he was use to hearing being associated with his name. Rude, unkind, and arrogant maybe, but never nice. How could this little child he had barely spoken to call him nice?

But what was said next sounded even stranger.

"Well, Squall chooses to be nice. Who ever hurt him chose to be mean." Oni's answer sounded so...well, not Oni. Did she think he was nice?? Squall stole a glance in her direction to see that she was writing yet another poem. Had she really just said that about him? This was getting more and more confusing by the minute.

He turned and stared into big brown eyes belonging to Toki that were so innocent while her lips curved into a huge smile. Looking into that round face, Squall could not resist the urge to let the corners of his lips to curve upwards. "Yeah, Seifer chose to be mean."

His answer was simple but to the point and Toki looked at his scar again and then putting her tiny hands on her tiny hips, she declared, "Well, I don't like this Seifer person. He is mean because he cheats and hurts nice people like Squall!" After her declaration, Toki smiled at Squall and threw her thin arms around his neck in a tight hug. With her arms wrapped around his neck she spoke in her cheery voice. "But you don't have to worry about him anymore because now you're with us and we stand up for each other!" The entire table of child nodded their heads and spoke their agreement.

Completely caught off guard, Squall just sat there for a minute, not knowing what he should do, but after a moment of confusion, he hesitantly put his arms around her tiny body. "Yeah, I don't have to worry."

He tried his hardest not to let the feeling of sadness take him. This little child so innocent and free was stuck here in this place where she had grown up with this family of people who took care of her. Would he ever have that? In a way, she was a lot like how he used to be when Ellone was with him at the orphanage. Back then, he had his family of people who all were like him. In a way, coming to The Ocean's Shore, was a lot like going back to the orphanage, only this time, he had to start with a new group of people. This little girl had already accepted him, would the others do the same?

The embrace ended when Toki backed away from him with a huge toothy smile still plastered to her face. Plopping back down into her seat, she began to chatter away with her friends again about how she would get Seifer into "big trouble" if he had done what he did to Squall to her. He couldn't help the slight laugh that rose when she talked about telling Seifer's mom on him.

Letting Toki and her friends continue their talking of Seifer's punishments, Squall looked over at Oni who was still writing something in her notebook. Crimson eyes scanned the words and wrote more as the music in the background continued to play. Would she ever accept him? He highly doubted it, but then again, she was kind to everyone else, who says she can't be nice to him and so far, she hadn't given him any reason to think that she would not be kind to him. So who says she wouldn't except him?

(The laws of probability.) Squall resisted the urge to roll his eyes at that stupid voice in the back of his head that always had to get the last word in. Now what should he do? What could he do? (Sit there and stop thinking...for once.) Wait, who needs to stop thinking??? Yeah sure...ok, he decided to just sit there and wait for something to happen.

Sure enough, Toki suddenly jumped up out of her seat after whispering something to her friends and giggling. All of her friends followed suit and ran over to Oni's side of the table. They all began to jump up and down around her chanting "play" over and over again to get her to move. Eventually, Oni set down her pencil and closed her notebook before standing. All the children then grabbed onto her hands and led her out to the middle of the Activity Room where a bright red ball sat.

Squall watched all of this, wondering what the children were going to play with the raven-haired woman. He silently look on until he once again felt tiny hands tugging on his own and he looked down to find himself once again staring into big chocolate brown eyes.

Toki put on her innocent smile again and rocked back and forth on her feet while holding his large hand with both of her tiny ones. "Come play with us, it will be fun. You can't sit here every day or you'll get fat." With that said, she gave a "mighty" tug on Squall's arm and led him to the center of the room where everyone else was waiting.

"Ok." Toki stood in the middle of the group and began to explain the game. "We're going to play keep away. All of us are going to try and keep the ball away from Oni and Squall." She smiled at them again and picked up the big red ball. "You two work together and try to get the ball away from us, ok?"

The roommates nodded at the little girl and then Squall turned and looked at Oni who was just waiting for the game to start with her always quiet face. He then turned back to Toki who held up the big red ball and screamed, "Ready! Set! GO!"

Toki quickly passed the ball to a little boy off to her right who in turn pasted it to a little girl behind him. Squall being the strategist he was, decided to go easy on the kids by pretending to be completely at lost on how to get the ball and then suddenly he'd steal it from them. Setting his plan into action, he saw Oni out of the corner of his eye standing, just watching the ball be pasted by the little children. It was obvious that she was waiting for a perfect moment to snatch the ball. Squall then approached the child holding the ball and as soon as they passed it, he ran towards the new holder and kept doing this for a little while. He still kept an eye on Oni who had begun to move to the person she thought would receive the ball next. Both roommates watched the movement of the ball carefully, but surprisingly to Squall, the child did a good job at passing the ball at the _very_ last moment, making it hard to guess the next move. Such a simple game had been turned into a chess game. Making sure you were in the right place at the right time.

Suddenly, the game picked up in pace and the children began to pass the ball faster and faster. A few of them began to "fake" the pass to one and then pass to another. All of them were laughing and giggling at trying to keep the ball from the two older patients. But eventually, they started to try and go too fast and their passes got sloppy. Squall and Oni both took this opportunity to try and pick off a bad pass. Having the same idea in mind, they both dashed towards the ball that was intended to be caught by Toki, but instead was thrown off to her left. Both roommates reached for the big red object and, as expected, they both hit their mark.

Squall and Oni caught the ball at the same time, one on either side holding it with both hands. They each stared at each other, not really knowing what to do besides stand there. Each one had the same emotionless eyes, only difference was that Oni saw blue ones and Squall saw red ones. Neither let go or made a move to show any sign of discomfort. They just stood there as if time had completely stopped.

The silence that lingered between them was thick until Oni broke it with a gentle but blank comment. "Nice catch."

Squall continued to look at her, not letting his gaze wander or drop from her crimson orbs and answered, "You too."

At that moment, Toki bounded over towards them with her ever-present smile on and grabbed hold of the side of Squall's pants and the edge of Oni's shorts giving a light tug. "You guys work good together! Play again!" Both parties handed the ball to Toki at the same time and the little girl bounded towards the middle and waited for Squall and Oni to follow. Both of them did and the game began again.

They played it a few more times before Oni noticed that they had 5 minutes before their first class. Squall noticed too and together, they gathered their stuff and headed for the sixth floor where therapy class awaited.

Arriving there just in time, Oni and Squall took their seats and prepared themselves for another boring lecture. Oni pulled out her notepad and began to write her poem again. Squall did the same and decided to try and write a poem as well. Now, what to write? He thought about it for a minute, not really coming up with anything. So he went with a different approach. He would close his eyes and whatever was the first thing he thought about, he would write about. Slowly letting his eyelids drift shut, he let his thoughts take control and the "incident" in the activity room came back to him. He saw Oni and her fire deep eyes that reflected so little, but yet so much. At that moment, he thought of something and he put it on paper.

_I see what you don't see,_

_What you see isn't me._

_Tear away this mask of mine,_

_And see what none can see._

_See what is…me._

Where did that come from? He looked down at the words and read them again then turned to Oni who was still writing words on her page and scratching them out. Yes, a mask. That's what Oni had. She seemed to be hiding behind a wall that keeps her emotions bottled deep within her mind. With all those feelings hidden, no one can see who she really is. That's how he was and still is. It was because of this that _she_ left to "live as normal people do". Is it possible that Oni has suffered something similar? The true question was, how similar?

Squall decided that was enough deep thinking for one day and he put the notepad away and leaned back in his chair shutting his eyes. What seemed like 10 minutes later, a light hand on his shoulder woke him from his light sleep. He sat up somewhat abruptly and looked to see that the hand belonged to Oni. For a moment, they just looked at each other, but Oni then moved her hand away and headed for the door. Squall stood from his seat and now noticed that class was over.

Together, they headed for lunch where Toki was once again waiting for them.

She came bounding over from her seat to where the roommates were standing with an over excited smile on her face. She stopped in front of them, then grabbed on to the side of Squall's pants and the edge of Oni's shorts before looking up at them and speaking. "Hi Oni, hi Squall. Come sit with us!" The little girl tugged on both roommates clothing and "pulled" them over to the table where Toki put Oni on her right and Squall on her left. Toki herself sat down in between them on the actual table and put her feet on the bench. "We were just talking about this years Christmas celebration! I know it's pretty far away, but I still like talking about it. I mean, it's only four months." The girls face was full of happiness until she turned to look at Oni and her features took on a pained expression before quietly asking, "Your coming,…right Oni?"

At first Oni didn't answer and a sudden sadness went through Toki's innocence eyes. Oni seemed to be lost in her own world of thinking and the silence dragged on. Lightly, Toki tugged on Oni's arm with the sad look now taken over her features completely.

"Oni?" The young girl tried to get the attention of the older woman, but Squall really didn't think that Oni was going to answer. But little Toki just wouldn't give up. "Please Oni. That was so long ago. Please, go to the party. Won't you Oni?"

Red eyes slowly turned to look at the tiny child and Squall could just barely see a trace of pain in them. It was obvious, that this party brought back bad memories for Oni as well. What could have happened to make Toki say "That was so long ago"? What was long ago?

Finally, Oni lifted her hand and placed it on Toki's that was lying on her arm and simply said, "Maybe." before letting her rose-colored gaze fall back to the table.

Toki let go of Oni's arm and some of the sadness left her, but there was still a trail of unhappiness in her face from Oni's answer. But she let the answer suffice and then turned to Squall with renewed spirits.

"What about you? You're going to come to, right Squall?"

Squall looked at the tiny girl for a second, not really sure on what to say. He had never really liked parties either and would actually prefer avoiding them. Mostly because it was where he had met _her._ "I don't really like parties."

Toki face regained its pained look and she tried to persuade him. "Why not? There's going to be food, music, games, singing, and dancing."

Dancing. Somewhere in the past two years without _her_, he had stopped liking dancing of any kind. It reminded him of _her_ so much that it made him angry. He still remembered that day back when he saw _her_ standing there and _she_ walked over to him and asked him to dance. Their dance had once held meaning for him, but now dancing only served as a reminder of his anger and pain.

Not one to be easily turned down, Toki tried again. "Plus, that night after the party, you're allowed to make one wish on the star atop the Christmas tree. Then, you open the present that your roommate bought you and keep it by you all night. If you do, then your wish will come true." Toki's eyes seemed to shine as she talked of the Christmas Eve tradition that took place every year at The Ocean's Shore, but her face quickly returned to normal and she added on quickly, "Besides, everyone has to dress up and you'll get to see me in the dress that Oni's going to make for me!"

Oni nodded her head at the little girl who was smiling at her with true admiration. It truly was amazing how much Toki treated Oni as a sister who was like anyone else. How odd it was to watch them interact with each other everyday the way blood sisters would.

Oni rose from the table to get her food and this time, Squall rose as well and followed her to get his own. Both of them got their trays and headed back to Toki's table where the little girl was whispering to her friends about something that was obviously funny, for all the children giggled right after that. But as soon as Squall and Oni approached the table, all the kid quieted down and stopped their giggling. Oni was the first to set down her tray and she saw Toki's attempt to hide the laughter threatening to burst.

The nineteen-year-old woman Squall was sharing a room with, looked at Toki with her always-silent expression and emotionlessly asked her, "What are you finding so funny?" Her crimson eyes would have boar holes through anyone else, but Toki just smiled a mischievous smile and waved off Oni's question.

"Nothing!"

Oni looked at the girl out of the corner of her eye for a moment, but then turned back to her tray of food and began to eat various items here and there. Squall also looked at the smiling child for a moment, but turned to his tray as well.

Toki hopped off of the table and went bounding off to the double doors calling over her shoulder, "I'll see you guys later, I've got to get ready for my classes! Bye!!!" With that, the tiny girl ran through the double door towards the elevator.

Squall watched her leave and then dumped out the rest of the food on his tray before returning to his seat next to Oni. She did the same with her tray and then proceeded to the exit of the Lunch Room with Squall silently trailing behind. Making their way to the room on the ninth floor, the silent pair entered the darkroom and Oni shut the door.

Squall guessed that it was "free time" again and he plopped down on his bed and pulled out his notepad where his new poem was written. He read it again and decided that he kind of liked it. After about an hour of just sitting there not really doing anything, Oni rose from her position on her bed and went to the door to leave. Squall rose as well, not having anything else to do.

The pair went outside where they saw Toki again and talked to her for a little while. In the time that they were talking, Oni agreed with Toki that she would take the measurements for Toki's dress on Saturday this weekend so that she could get started on it. The dress would take her at least two and a half months to finish because of all the details that would be included and the amount or material needed.

With the date for Toki's dress measurements set, the roommates returned to their room to stay for the remainder of the day. Squall sat quietly and said nothing while Oni began to prepare dinner as she had the night before. They both ate the meal, which consisted of chicken, rice, and mashed potatoes. Squall found it to taste very good and was surprised that Oni could cook so well. He guessed that she had gotten lessons from Mollia or had maybe even taught herself. Which ever it was, the meals were good and he was sure he could get used to them.

As they sat in silence, eating their meals, Squall's thoughts drifted to the discussion with Toki about the Christmas party at lunch. He remembered Oni's reaction to Toki asking her to go and curiosity plagued him once again. He never use to be so curious, but he guessed that it was a habit he had picked up from _her _at some point.

Looking at Oni while she ate her food, Squall found himself asking her his question before he even knew he did.

"That Christmas party," Oni lifted her head at hearing his words. "When is it?"

Oni took another bit of her chicken, chewed it up, and them swallowed before answering. "Christmas Eve. It always starts at 6 pm and goes until 12 pm."

Squall nodded and looked back down at his food. Twirling his fork in his mashed potatoes, he dared to ask his next question. "You…never go?"

At that question, Oni put down her fork all together, but not in an annoyed fashion. She simply laid it on her napkin and look over at him with seemingly glowing eyes. He could tell that she was debating on whether or not to tell him, but after a moment, she decided to go ahead.

"I always use to go." Her voice was a low but still powerful and it gave her words a strange heaviness. "But…I haven't gone in two years." She didn't move after saying this, but instead remained still, waiting for his answer.

Squall now put down his fork and looked over at her silent face. He let the silence in the air hang, not really knowing what to say. He was never good at having conversations and now was no exception. Searching for something, anything, that would not sound rude or heartless, Squall decided on a simple phrase.

"Toki wants you to go pretty badly, doesn't she?"

A slight nod was given before Oni spoke any words. "She's been pushing for me to go for a while. She just doesn't see…why I stopped going, I suppose."

The words that he received caused a strange feeling to settle in her features. It was the first time he had ever seen a slight uncertainty in her. Obviously, her reason for not going was painful.

"I'm not one for parties either." The thought of _her_ made his voice go lower and his eyes fall to his plate. Oni turned her head slightly to look at him, this man who now shared her room with her.

"But" Squall lifted his head to listen to Oni's next words. "I know that going will make Toki happy and perhaps…" Oni's voice lowered to a powerful whisper as she uttered her next words, "this time…it _will_ be different."

Squall felt a weight in her words. This was the first time she had ever shared something even slightly personal. It gave him just a little more knowledge on who Oni was and what she had been through. He wondered if going to the party would also be "different" for him. Maybe…he would go to the party. Just maybe.

Oni rose from the table, not saying anymore than what she already had. Washing her plate off in the sink, she walked to her nightstand and pulled off all her rings along with her necklace and watch, obviously preparing for bed.

Deciding to do the same, Squall walked over to his bed and pulled off his white T-shirt followed by his shoes, socks, and pants. With only his boxers left, Squall pulled the covers all the way back along with the sheet. The window was wide open to air out the small room, but the heat refused to dissipate.

He simply flopped on the mattress that emitted a slight creak at his added weight. He closed his eyes and brought his fingers up to his Griever necklace that was cool against his sweat slick skin. Turning his head to the side, he could see Oni on the other side, slipping her bra out from under her shirt and discarding her pants.

Oni climbed into her own queen-sized bed but left the comforter at the end and lay only covered by her sheet. After flicking off the light by her bed, she rolled over and closed her eyes to survive the nightmares that were bound to come.

Feeling the heat bring a new film of sweat to cover his body, Squall stayed lying on his back with his head turned towards Oni's side of the curtain. How could she sleep in this intense heat without tossing and turning? He guessed that she was just used to it.

For the tired Commander, sleep was just the doorway to the dream that plagued him time and time again. He hoped that eventually the dream would leave him, but at this point, why did it even matter? He was better off here than at Balamb where everything reminded him of _her_.

He shut his eyes, hoping to drift to sleep and forget about the waves of heat that seemed to be rolling through the room. But after about a half an hour, Squall found that he couldn't escape into sleep and instead, rose out of his bed to get a glass of water. He tried to mask his steps as much as possible, not wanting to wake up Oni, and headed for the small kitchen.

Opening up the cabinet, the sweat-drenched Squall grabbed a glass and turned to the refrigerator. Rummaging through the few things within it, he grabbed a jug of water and proceeded to pour himself some. Grabbing a few ice cubes from the freezer, the former Commander leaned against the counter while gulping down his ice water.

Slowly, Squall cast a glance towards Oni who had drifted to sleep effortlessly. He walked out from behind the counter and sat down in a chair at the small table that was not very far from where Oni was resting. For some reason, Squall found that he could not lift his gaze from her form sleeping silently. Such a strange woman she was and perhaps that was the reason he sought to understand her better.

Through the dim light of the room, Squall's trained eye saw a sudden flinch in her features and she rolled over to lie on her back. His blue eyes noticed the heavy increase in her breathing and the small beads of sweat that rolled off her tan forehead.

Rising from his seat, he took cautious steps towards her bed but kept his eyes glued to her face as if he were waiting for something to happen. Oni's breathing continued to be heavy and the sweat continued to cling to her skin. Then, almost too silent to hear, Squall watched not even a foot away from her bed as she knitted her brow and mumbled inaudible words.

Moments passed and nothing more happened and Squall figured that it was just the heat. Silently, he reached towards her; to pull back the covers so she wouldn't be so hot, but just as he did something did happen.

From her tightly shut eyes, something fell down her cheeks and moistened the pillow her head was resting on. No sounds came from her lips and no movement was made. And Squall just stood there watching her.

As crystal tears fell, Squall realized, Oni was crying.

****

**_"I can't help the falling of my secret tears"_**

__


	5. Haunted Hymn

Walking Blind

**Author's Notes: **Wow, that last chapter was REALLY long! It took me a REALLY long time to finish that. A lot happened and now it's time to pick up the story! In this chapter, a lot more interactions will take place and I promise that I'll add some Squall/Oni action. This is mostly going to be a build up chapter to the Christmas party that is going to happen. Toki will appear once more and shake things up!! What do I have up my sleeve??? Find out by READING! Enjoy, but don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer's:** We all know that I don't own Final Fantasy 8 or any of the songs used in this chapter, but I own Oni!! Mwahahahahah! Ok, back to the story.

Chapter 5: Haunted Hymn

_Trapped within a dream world,_

_A place that's real yet fake,_

_It is here I've found I've made my worst mistake._

_I've let myself be taken,_

_I've let myself forget,_

_These actions will leave me only with regret._

_My heart begins to fail me,_

_My eyes begin to shut,_

_I'm drifting within a sea of heaven knows what. _

_But just when I think it's over,_

_The darkness begins to dim,_

_And I'm left with only a haunted hymn._

_Lynxionia___

From her tightly shut eyes, something fell down her cheeks and moistened the pillow her head was resting on. No sounds came from her slightly lips and no movement was made. And Squall just stood there watching her.

_As crystal tears fell, Squall realized, she was crying. _

That moment played itself over and over in Squall's already troubled mind. For some reason he could not shake the vision of her tears rolling down those almond cheeks and soaking into her pillow. It wasn't so much that it had happened that held his attention, no instead it was the fact that this stoic appearing woman showed that within her unconscious mind she suffered something that brought on tears.

He recalled the actions he had taken after he had seen the water leak from her shut eyes. After the first tear fell he had waited until he saw another to confirm that she really was crying before slowly backing away from her. Stealing only one glance at his roommate, Squall had gone back to his bed and just sat there, not knowing what to think. He had seen tears on _her_ face many times because of meaningless arguments or disagreements, but the crystal drop of water running down Oni's "always silent" seemed so much different from seeing them on someone else. The problem was, he didn't know why.

Rolling over to lay on his stomach, Squall rested his head on his arms that lay atop his pillow. It had been an hour since he had seen Oni's tears and he found himself still restless in the extreme August heat. Turning his gaze to the side, he could see Oni on the other side of the curtain motionless in her sleep. Squall wondered what plagued her dreams while her body rested in the staggering heat. What demons tortured her mind?

With a sigh, the former commander looked back up at the white ceiling trying to clear his mind of the image he had seen only an hour ago. What was it that made that image stay embedded in his mind?

Not wanting to think about it anymore, Squall rolled onto his side still clad in only his boxers with all the covers at the end of the bed and drifted into his own restless sleep.

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_She could see his face looming over her with a look that was obviously not his own. His forcefulness was unknown to her and she wasn't sure what could be done to stop his painful assault. From the moment he had come through the door she knew that something wasn't right, but before she could even begin to inquire about the problem, he had pushed her back. _

_Her cries of anguish were silenced with his harsh voice warning her to keep her mouth shut or suffer a greater consequence. What greater consequence could be given then the one he was now forcing upon her? For the first time in her entire life, she felt as though she was being drown but kept alive to feel the pain of passing from the world of the living over and over again. _

_It was then that she became silent and bit back every cry that would have made him inflict more pain on her. Her fingers were clenched so tight that her palms began to bleed, but she stayed silent. With every ounce of willpower she had, she held it all back, but as he continued his insane torture she felt the one thing that would betray her begin to rise._

_Even with her eyes shut so tight that pain streaked into her temples, she could not stop the silver tear that leaked out and slid down her cheek. That was the last thing she ever felt before something with staggering force pushed her into the world of darkness and her mind helplessly cried out in vain._

_"Someone…save me."_

_With that plea drifting though her mind, she fell into a black pool that threatened to shallow her whole. But as she felt the air beginning to leave her, she saw a light spark in the endless void. As the light sparked again she could just barely make out a figure standing in the darkness looking at her. Not knowing or caring who it was, she reached out her hand with the last of her strength and cried out in desperation._

_"Help me, please!!! Don't leave me here!! Save me!!"_

As though someone had shot her in the heart, she snapped up out of her bed with her hands fisted tightly in the sheet lying on top of her. Sweat rolled down her face and her breathing was heavy, but if one were to look upon her face at that moment, they would see that her face was still the emotionless mask it always was. Slowing her breathing to a normal pace, she pushed back the sheet and let her feet hang off the edge of her bed.

Her mind was focused on the dream that had plagued her for years. Every detail was embedded in her mind to torture her for the rest of her life. Each night she fought it, each night she fought the pain, but this night had been different. For two years this dream surfaced within her mind at night. Some nights, she could fight back the tears that always seemed to betray her, but tonight was not one of those nights. Yet, the tears weren't what played over and over in her head. Never before in any dream could she remember seeing someone standing encased in light like a beacon in the night sky. It had sparks something in her that she hadn't had in two painful years. Hope.

Still thinking of the dream and its strange turn of events, she heard a groan come from the other side of the curtain. Letting her wine red eyes turn to look in the direction of the sound, she reached for the robe on the end of her bed and pulled it on around her, but left it open with nothing holding it close.

Silently, she rose from her bed and walked around the small curtain in the room to view what she knew to be the source of the sound. As expected, her eyes were met by the former commander's sleeping form. His covers were tossed to the end of the bed to escape the summer heat and all his clothes, except his boxers, were gone from his body. The cool breeze from the window behind the beds caused his brown hair to lightly blow across his face in a serine way that made him look gentle.

Oblivious to his roommate's presence, the former SeeD groaned once more and turned his head so that he was now facing the curtain. He had his arms underneath his pillow and his head rested lightly atop them. This left his entire back visible to the scarlet gaze of his roommate. She noticed that his skin was drenched in sweat from the intense heat of summer that he was undoubtedly not accustomed to. Every muscle in his back was defined from his stretched out position but that was not what caught her attention. Instead, it was the multiple scars that were scattered over his tan skin that told her he was not foreign to battle. This only made sense considering that he was a former SeeD, but the large number of them seemed somehow startling. Some marks were fainter than others, but all were healed over from obvious use of cure spells and potions.

Walking around to the side of his bed, she prepared to awake him to get ready for the day ahead, but stopped. Standing there looking down on him with her ever silent face, she decided to let him sleep at least until she had her shower.

Deserting his bedside, the red-eyed woman headed towards the bathroom at the back of the room stopping only momentarily to grab a towel. Entering the small room, she closed the door behind her and didn't even bother to lock it before removing her robe, tang top, and underwear. With the shower on its hottest setting, she stepped in and let the water wash away all the sweat from her sleep.

Once she washed her body and had thoroughly washed her hair, she stepped out and dried herself. Remembering that today was Wednesday and everyone was allowed to sleep in, she simply grabbed the underwear and bra she had brought with her and put them on. Then, reaching for her robe that she had laid aside, she pulled it on and tied it closed around her concealing her bra and underwear.

Soon, her roommate would be awake and she wanted to have breakfast ready before he did so. So, throwing a towel on top of her long damp hair, she exited the bathroom and walked into the kitchen making sure to throw a glance at the sleeping man in his bed to insure that he was still asleep. Seeing that he was, she pulled out a pan and some cake batter to make some pancakes.

Within less than a half and hour, she had made five good sized pancakes, two for her and three for her still sleeping roommate. Grabbing two plates from the cabinet and setting the pancakes on them, she set them at the table along with two tall glasses of milk, a tub of butter, and a bottle of syrup. She did this entire routine silently, never once making enough noise to disturb the sleeping man in the queen sized bed on the other side of the curtain.

Now that the table was set and the food was ready, she turned to the task of waking the former commander so that they could eat. Slightly surprised that he hadn't already awoken, she walked over to the far side of the curtain once more and came to stand at the side of his bed on which the curtain was. His face was turned away from her but he still lay on his stomach as he had been only an hour ago. For a moment, she didn't feel that she needed to wake him when he seemed to be sleeping so well, but also remember that she couldn't let his food just get cold. Besides, it was already almost nine o'clock.

Leaning forward, she placed one hand on the bed to steady herself and with the other reached out to rest on his forearm so that she might awake him. Lightly grabbing his arm, she carefully shook him as not to awake him too abruptly. Shaking his arm, she tried to get him to come out of his slumber, but was rewarded instead by him turning his head towards her. His hair fell gently over his face from the breeze coming from the window and a groan came from his slightly parted lips.

Carefully, the fire eyed woman sat on the edge of his bed and this time laid the same hand on his shoulder nearest her to try, once again, to wake him. Not even noticing the sweat that coated his skin and using a little bit more force, she shook him and was given only another groan, but still needing him to awake, she put both hands on his shoulders and softly but firmly shook him.

"Squall."

As his name was spoken in her emotionless tone, he roused from his sleep and opened his eyes to see who was trying to wake him. With his eyes now open, he could focus on what was trying to wake him. But as he looked at what was in his line of sight he was greeted by a pair of tan legs sitting on his bedside. Not really awake and thoroughly confused, he blinked a few more times to confirm the fact that a pair of legs was next to him. He must have then realized that her hands were touching him as she could feel his muscles tighten under her fingers. As if he was afraid to see who it was, he slowly turned his head up so that he could see her. A kind of relief seemed to wash over his face as he realized who it was and sat up to completely see her. (Author's note: Remember, that this entire "waking of Squall" thing is happening in a matter of seconds. The only reason it feels long is because I'm describing every moment to you. Just thought I'd make that clear! )

The crimson-eyed woman severed the contact between them as he sat up and looked straight at him as she spoke.

"Breakfast is ready."

Her voice was the same as it always was, absent of any feeling, but her words never came out sounding rude or annoyed. With her simple phrase, she stood up from her seated position on the side of his bed causing her wet hair to fall around her face because it wasn't pulled back in its usual hair tie and made her way to the dining table where the food was waiting.

The now awake Squall pulled himself up out of bed and grabbed his pants that were lying on the end of the bed where he left them the night before. Pulling them on but not bothering to clasp any of the belts, he dragged himself over to the table where his hot pile of pancakes were waiting for him. He plopped down into his seat beside Oni and they began to eat in silence.

As they ate, Oni ran her towel through her hair to try and get the damp tresses to dry enough to be able to do something with it. After drying it with the towel to her satisfaction she laid her towel next to her on the table and used her fingers to lightly toss it around. Her long manicured nails pulled her hair around her face in a thrown style that was quite attractive. Sighing and rising from the table, she cleaned her plate, grabbed clothes, and prepared to dress for the day ahead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Squall just sat eating his pancakes with one arm resting on the table stealing glances at Oni every once in a while just to see what she was doing. Having her awaking him obviously having already taken her shower had surprised him. He hadn't slept so well since the time when _she_ was with him. It had been so long that he had actually awakened thinking that he would see _her _standing there, but he couldn't even begin to explain the relief he felt when he saw Oni's silent face instead.

Seeing her standing there had brought such a calming feeling that he had been truly surprised with himself. But not just the realization of her standing there surprised him; instead, he actually found more surprise in her appearance.

Her almond skin held a kind of hue to it and the smell of cocoa butter and roses told him she had already showered. Wet obsidian hair dripped crystal drops of water onto his back and he found himself resisting the urge to shiver from their cool pricks. The hands he felt on his shoulders were cool and smooth on his heated skin and he suddenly became very conscious of the sweat pouring off his back. He felt like he should be embarrassed but realized that it didn't seem to be bothering her at all. Her position of leaning over him caused her wet hair to drip even more onto his sweat slick back and his many scars.

Looking at her he suddenly noticed her attire. She was dressed only in her robe that, he assumed, covered her bra and underwear. Her strong but shapely legs lay slanted on his bed allowing him to see their smoothness. The scarlet eyes that were looking at him held a strange gentleness despite being void of emotion. And as if that wasn't bad enough on a man mind, Oni's large breasts tucked behind her robe and bra were perfectly fixed into his line of sight. A breeze from the window in the back blow her wet tresses of hair lightly over her face as well as causing goose bumps to rise on his sweaty skin. Overall, it was another one of those "situations" where Squall found the tension in the room beginning to rise dangerously high.

After what seemed like forever, Oni rose from her seated position on the bed and walked back to the dining area where breakfast was hot and ready. It took Squall a few minutes to completely register what she was talking about when she said "Breakfast is ready" but eventually he snapped out of it and grabbed the pants sitting on the end of the bed.

Even in the morning, it felt like the sun was baking him alive and so he left the belts on his pants unclasped. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, pushing it out of his eyes so that he could see his way to the dining table. Plopping down in the seat next to Oni, he grabbed his fork and began to eat his pancakes after applying butter and syrup.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Oni ran a towel through her wet hair trying to dry it. When it was dry enough to work with, Squall watched as she dragged her nicely done nails through it, shaking out the tangles. The former Commander had never noticed how long her nails were before now. Each one was about an inch long with a red swirl designs and tiny jewels on them.

Finishing doing her hair and eating her food, Oni rose from the table, her knee length hair swinging behind her and cleaned off her plate. Walking over to her dresser, she pulled out a pair of jean capris and a light blue tang top. The outfit was similar to the one she wore yesterday but was still light enough in the heat.

Squall suddenly cursed his choice of clothing. It was always black and always leather which meant it was always hot. Surviving the summer here was going to be one of Squall's many challenges. Sighing, he rose with his now empty plate and washed it in the sink before walking over to his side of the room. Grabbing a white T-shirt, white cotton boxers, and a clean pair of black leather pants, he walked to the bathroom at the back to take a shower.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With ever-observant eyes, Oni watched her roommate grab his clothes and head for the bathroom at the back for a shower. She knew that his choice of clothing was much to warm for the summer heat he was now living in. That meant that a change in wardrobe was needed. That was all good and well considering she was going to have to get material for Toki's dress anyway.

Oni shed her robe from her lean form reveal to the empty room her lacy baby blue bra and matching bikini underwear still thinking about what needed to be done today. She pulled on her jean capris and light blue tang top then sat down on her bed still lost in her thoughts.

Leaning back onto the pillow, she looked over to the radio beside her and turned it on. Flipping through the stations she didn't care for she finally found the one she was looking for and laid back when a song she liked came on.

_Please come now, I think I'm falling _

_I'm holding onto what I think is safe_

_It seems I found the road to nowhere_

_And I'm trying to escape_

_I yelled back when I heard thunder_

_But I'm down to one last breath_

_And with it let me say, let me say_

Oni reached over into her drawer in her nightstand and pulled her sketchpad out of it. Opening to a fresh sheet of paper, she grabbed the pencil on the stand and began to sketch the first thing that came to mind when listening to this song.

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking_

_Maybe six ain't so far down_

The red-eyed woman's hands skillfully sketched out her minds image as the song continued to play in the background. Lost in her drawing, she never noticed her roommate exit the bathroom with his towel once again in his hair. His crystal clear blue eyes looked at where she sat on her bed with her knees propping her sketchbook up. He stayed quiet, not wanting to disturb her in her moment of deep concentration. Instead, he silently listened to the lyrics of the song playing from the radio.

_I'm looking down now that it's over_

_Reflecting on all of my mistakes_

_I thought I found the road to somewhere_

_Somewhere in his grace_

_I cried out "Heaven save me!"_

_But I'm down to one last breath _

_And with it let me say, let me say_

With years of SeeD training under his belt, the former Commander crept up to the back of Oni's bed so that he might be able to look over the headboard and see what she was drawing. His steps were silent and he crept closer and closer to his target.

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking_

_Maybe six feet ain't so far down_

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking_

_Maybe six feet ain't so far down_

He was almost there when Oni stopped drawing and seemed to just look at her unfinished sketch almost analyzing it. Her wine red eyes scanned over the page, the page that Squall was still unable to see clearly.

_Sad eyes follow me_

_But I still believe there's something left for me_

_So please come stay with me_

_'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me_

_For you and me _

_For you and me_

For a few moments, Squall stopped not really sure why he was trying to sneak up on his roommate while she was drawing. He considered just leaving her alone and minding his own business, but for some reason his legs refused to comply. All he wanted was one little peak into Oni's thoughts and the only way to do that was to see that drawing.

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the end and I'm thinking_

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the end and I'm thinking_

_Maybe six feet ain't so far down._

_Hold me now_

_I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking _

_Maybe six feet ain't so far down_

Taking the last few steps that were needed, Squall peered over the headboard and saw the drawing. His eyes grew slightly larger at the surprisingly detailed sketch that lay in Oni's lap. But his glance at the picture was cut short when Oni closed the sketchbook and leaned over to put the sketchbook back into her nightstand.

_Please come now, I think I'm falling_

_I'm holding onto what I think is safe_

Having leaned over, she now saw the shadow that was on the bed and she turned her head to look up into a pair of sky blue eyes. He stood there behind her bed with his black towel in one hand and his white shirt in the other just as he had yesterday. His damp hair allowed tiny drops of water to drip onto his strong shoulders, muscular chest, and lean back that were bare. His close proximity allowed her to smell cocoa butter and roses similar to herself from the shower gel and shampoo.

Neither one moved or broke the silence for several seconds, but eventually Squall felt like something needed to be said. Oni just looked at him with her same emotionless gaze but Squall could sense she was searching for something in his eyes.

"…Is there somewhere we need to go this morning?" The question sounded quite stupid to Squall but it was enough to break the awkward silence that had fallen upon them.

Oni finally moved from her stretched out position but kept her eyes connected with Squall's as she spoke. "No, just our class that starts at eleven."

Nodding but never once breaking eye contact, Squall simply said, "ok" before looking away and walking back over to his side of the curtain where he pulled his white shirt on over his head. Although Squall pretended not to notice, he could feel Oni's eyes on his back that was now covered. When he heard the bed rustle he turned to see that Oni had turned around and was now turning off the forgotten radio.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the week pasted with very little incident. Oni and Squall went about their own business not really getting in the way of each other. Toki stayed her ever-cheerful self and often talked to Squall about various things. The little girl was getting more and more excited about the weekend when Oni would take her dress measurements.

After what seemed like forever to little Toki, Saturday finally arrived and Oni was ready to take the measurements. It was another hot day and Oni wore a pair of tan colored shorts and a white halter top. Squall was dressed in his usual white T-shirt and black leather pants that he was burning up in, but not having anything else to wear, he stayed quiet and didn't complain.

After lunch had pasted and Toki had already been to her class, the little girl came bounding through the door of room 917. With a smile on her face and a huge bag of Snickers, Toki greeted Oni and Squall with a hug.

Toki then hopped onto Oni's bed, bag of Snickers in hand, and excitedly jumped up and down. "Measure me, measure me, measure me!"

Squall couldn't help but smirk at the young girl's excitement over having something as simple as taking measurements. Her brown hair bounced around her face and her chocolate eyes glowed with joy. The former commander had never seen a child with so much energy until he had met little Toki.

Oni opened up the bottom drawer in her nightstand and pulled out a tape measure, a notepad, and a pencil. Walking over to where Toki was bouncing, she laid the stuff on the bed and reach for the bouncing child.

She gently held out her hand in front of Toki to help her get off the bed so that she could take the measurements. "Come on Toki." The little girl smiled wider and took Oni's hand before jumping off the bed and onto the floor. "Stand here." Oni pointed to an open area on the floor where she had placed a small step stool. Taking the bag of Snickers from her tiny hands and laying it on the bed, Oni got down on her knees and began her measuring.

Toki just stood there listening to the directions that Oni gave her with the same over energetic smile plastered on her face. After a few minutes passed, Toki began to hum to herself and swing her arms to the beat. Oni had to get her to stand still once more so that she could finish her work. The measurements only took about 15 minutes and when Oni announced that she was finished, Toki leaped of the stool and scrambled onto the bed where her bad of Snickers lay. Taking one out, she began to munch on it while bouncing up and down excitedly.

In-between her jumping and munching, little Toki tried to form a sentence but failed miserably. "Hey Oni, (munch) An e atch a (munch) ovie gether! Quall an atch (munch) t ith s oo!"

Oni walked over to the bouncing child and stopped her by laying hand on her shoulders and pushing her to sit. Toki giggled with mouth full of half chewed up Snicker bars and watched as her "big sister" tried to settle her down.

"Chew first." Nodding, Toki chewed up the Snickers bar and swallowed so that her mouth now had room for her tongue. Oni nodded at her and then gave her the go ahead. "Now say that again so we can understand you."

Taking a deep breath to emphasize that she was going to speak correctly, Toki spoke her question again. "I saaaaaaaaaiiiiid," she paused to take another breath, "Can we watch a movie together?! Squall can watch it with us!"

Having now understood the Toki's question, Oni went down onto her haunches so that she was at Toki's eye level before answering her question. "Go pick one out."

Squealing with excitement, the little child hopped over to the bookcase that was off in a corner of the room and after doing some skimming, grabbed the movie she wanted off the shelf and bounded over to Oni who was making some popcorn.

Waving the movie in the air she handed it to the scarlet-eyed woman holding a bowl of extra butter popcorn. Trading items, the girls walked to the door to make their way up to Toki's room where the TV was. But as they were about to leave the room, Toki stopped and turned around to see Squall stretched out on his bed with his eyes closed. With an intense frown, the child dragged her feet as she walked to his bedside.

Taking a hold of his shirtsleeve, Toki gave a small pull that caused Squall to roll over to face her so that he could see her sad eyes. "Squaaaaaaall, come watch it with us, please!"

With a light sigh, the former commander pushed himself up out of his bed to join the two girls in their "movie night". At seeing Squall rise, Toki's eyes immediately brightened and she clung to his arm in joy over his decision. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Squall let another sigh escape him, not in annoyance but rather at his inability to say no to the small child. Somehow he just found it hard to shrug her off, but despite that fact, it didn't make him feel annoyed at all.

Now that Toki had gotten her way with the former commander, they joined Oni at the door and headed for the 10th floor where Toki's room was. The elevator carried them in silence and when the short ride was complete, the three patients made their way to room 1013.

As soon as the door swung open, Squall completely expected that the walls of the room would be some bright perky color, the bed sheets would have chocobos on them, and curtains would be covered in moogles but instead, he was met with something quite different.

Behind door 1013 there were tan colored walls and normal white curtains. Nothing that would be considered out of the ordinary in a place like The Ocean's Shore and Squall guessed that almost all the rooms look similar if not identical.

Toki skipped into the room with a hold on Oni's hand leading her to the couch that was at the back of the room along with a TV and stereo. Setting the bowl of popcorn on the table, the chocolate eyed little girl bounded over to where Squall still stood observing the room. She curled her fingers around his large hand and with a huge smile led him to the back of the room.

Oni was closing the blinds on the windows when the two brunettes walked over to the large couch. With the movie in the DVD player, Oni took a seat on the left hand side of the couch while Squall, seeing her on the left side, took the right. Toki then plopped down in between the two of them. The little child gave a slight frown when she noticed how spread out everyone was on the couch and to fix it she leaned over and hooked her arm around Oni's and pulled her towards herself. She then repeated the action with Squall so that both roommates were seated directly next to her.

"There, now we can watch the movie together!" The tiny child's smile only grew when Squall looked down at her after she had pulled him closer. It still baffled him why this little girl liked him so much. What had he down to merit her trust and care? He really didn't know, but her actions towards him stirred a part of him he didn't even know existed.

After looking down at Toki, he stole a glance at Oni sitting next to her with the same stoic face she always wore, but in the darkness of the room he saw a kind of glow around her that suggested a distant aura about her. Why was it that she seemed so far away but so extremely close at the same time? With one look from her blood colored eyes into his sky blue ones could make him feel so near her but just out of arms reach.

Turning back to the scene, Squall let his attention slip from his roommate and focus instead on the movie that was now playing. Toki seemed to have seen it many times because whenever a song came on that she knew, she would immediately begin to sing it and sway her head back and forth or kicking her feet that just barely hung over the edge of the couch.

_Titan A.E._ was Toki's movie of choice and Squall found it to be quite an interesting feature despite the fact that it was animated and the main character reminded him of someone he knew. Every once and a while, he would steal a glance at Oni who remained stationary throughout the entire movie except when reaching for a handful of popcorn every now and then. For the most part, Squall focused on the movie and tried to just have a relaxing afternoon. And sitting there, watching that movie, he found he could not recall a time he ever felt as relaxed as he did at that moment.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leaning forward to grabbed the last handful of popcorn of their second bowl, Oni collected the last few pieces and munched on them while the movie's ending scene drew to a close. With the credits now rolling, Oni reached for the remote and switched off the movie and looked down at where little Toki was.

The little child had fallen into a deep sleep about three-quarters into the movie and hadn't waken since. Her small body was slumped on the couch with her eyes lightly shut and her crest slowly rising and falling.

Lifting herself from the couch, Oni moved to stand in front of Toki so that she might lift the little girl and carry her to bed. At the same time, Squall saw what Oni planned to do and tried to get out of the way, but stopped when Oni put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the couch before he could even sit forward.

Confusion etched into his eyes, Squall whispered to Oni through the darkness of the room as not to wake the sleeping girl beside him, "What?"

Silently, Oni pointed to the small girl next to him and he cast his crystal blue eyes to look down at the child to discover something he hadn't noticed before. In the blackness of the room, the former commander saw little Toki's head resting softly against his arm and her little fingers clutching to his arm in an affectionate way. The sight startled Squall and he found himself almost uncomfortable with this child's sweet gestures towards him. He had very seldom been on the receiving end of someone's kind actions and even less on the giving side. Toki's actions touched some part of him that had never been touched, not even by _her_, and Squall really wasn't sure how to act.

Only a few moments passed, but Squall felt like it was an eternity. Yet, for some reason, he didn't want this eternity to end. Toki's clinging to him made him feel a sense of being wanted that he had never felt before. And as if his body was moving of its own accord, his hand reached out and touched the crown of little Toki's head. The caress was gentle and brief but the action stirred inside him a serine feeling that he dare say he was content with.

His gesture now complete, he felt himself become suddenly embarrassed when he saw Oni watching his private moment with her silent visage. He half expected her to giggle and then comment on how "sweet" or "adorable" his action was, but instead Oni turned her gaze to Toki.

A few more seconds pasted before Oni finally made her comment. "She usually doesn't sleep when someone is near."

Squall found himself confused by her strange statement and looked back down at Toki who still clung to him. "Most kids don't, do they?"

Oni shook her head lightly before answering, "No, she always stays up when we watch movies. Sleep does not come easy to her."

The former commander nodded lightly but didn't bother to comment further although he silently wondered why sleep was not something Toki found easily.

Reaching down, Oni gently wrapped her fingers around Toki's arms and tried to pull them away from Squall's arm. She succeeded but caused the sleeping child to awaken. Groggily, she lifted her eyes to see her surroundings and smiled sleepily when she saw Squall and Oni.

Softly, Oni lifted Toki into her arms and spoke quietly, "Come Toki, it's late."

In a tired voice, Toki protested to the older woman's demands, "Can't I at least say good night to Squall?"

The little girl gave Oni her best puppy dogface and the scarlet-eyed woman looked as if she were going to ignore the child's pleas, but gave in by lightly setting the girl back on the couch next to Squall.

With a half asleep smile, Toki wrapped her arms around Squall's neck before he could even protest and pulled herself to him in a warm embrace. For a moment he grew stiff and didn't make a move to do anything, but when Toki's grip did not relinquish its hold on him, he slowly wrapped his arms around her. When she felt his arms close around her, Toki smiled and buried her face in the side of his neck the way a child does its parent. Squall was once again surprised but didn't push her away or tell her to leave him. Strangly, the former Commander found himself calm and at rest with the child's arms tightly wrapped around his neck.

After a moment pasted, Squall realized that she had dozed off again right there on his shoulder. Not really knowing what to do he just sat there trying not to act like he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He watched Oni for a moment, but she turned from him and walked over to a bed that was on the other side of the room. She pulled back the covers and Squall readjusted his arms to cradle Toki and made his way over to where Oni was.

The former SeeD felt like he should be embarrassed but he couldn't find it in himself to feel that way. Toki's gentle breathing on his neck calmed him and made him feel like nothing was strange about what he was doing no matter how awkward it felt.

When he reached where Oni was standing she reached out her hands to take Oni from him. Her roommate carefully pulled Toki's sleeping form away from himself and held her so Oni could take her. The scarlet-eyed woman silently took hold of the little girl held in her roommate's strong arms.

As Oni placed her arms around the little girl's waist her fingers grazed over the skin of Squall's stomach. The unintentional caress caused a strange feeling that he couldn't explain to sweep over him. Her fingers had been cool to the touch but it wasn't a chill that had crept up his spine when her elegant fingers with long nails swept past his abdomen.

While Squall watched her, Oni placed Toki in her bed and tucked her in. The silent woman looked at Toki for a moment and then turned to Squall standing beside her. Glowing orbs of red pierced the darkness and landed on Squall's face. Both roommates stood in silence for a second, but Oni stepped past him and cleaned up the area where they had been watching their movie. When all was put away, both Squall and Oni left room 1013 and made their way back to their own room. It was rather late and no one was out and about at this time, so the roommates were left alone to make their way to their room quickly.

They both entered and Oni groped for the switch to the lamp next to her bed. When the light spread through the darkness, both roommates walked over to their beds and changed.

Oni pulled off her shorts and placed them back into her dresser then pulled her bra out from under her tang top. Her roommate from the other side of the curtain watched her strong form do this as he discarded his pants, shirt, shoes and socks. Clad in only his boxers he sat with his legs over the side of his bed facing the curtain unable to remove his crystal blue gaze away from Oni's curvy figure.

Where Squall's former lover had been slender and petite, Oni was built and full in a strong womanly way. Where _she_ had been pretty and tempting at times, Oni was deeply beautiful and could be down right obsessing. For Squall, it was a whole new way of seeing a woman from the way he once saw them.

Yet, at the same time, Oni was so much more than some sexy seductress. She was like shelter in the storm, the mother of a lost child. One look from her eyes could make any man feel like their thirst had been quenched forever. But at the same time, a chill ran up Squall's spine when she spoke. Not because her voice was heartless, but because it was so needy. When she looked at him, he felt like she was close enough for him touch, but at the same time, just out of his arms reach. In her every move towards him she was strong and able, but at the same time so utterly lost. She was calling to him, but he didn't know how he should answer. She needed something, but what was it?

He stared at her as she pulled back her covers with strong arms and slipped her long legs into her bed. Pulling his eyes away from her bed, Squall let himself lay back with all the covers once again at the end of his bed and drift away in the excruciating heat of the summer at the Ocean's Shore.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with the curtain between them and her back to him, Oni could still feel his eyes on her back. It was almost like they were burning holes into her skin, but anyone who looked at Oni wouldn't have known that she knew. Her eyes stayed the same as they always were, void. His gaze on her form did not disturb her the way she thought it might and that was what beginning to bothered her. After two years, she thought that suddenly living with a man was would cause her to feel uncomfortable, but instead, she found herself quite calm in the former commander's presence. Whenever her was near, she didn't feel like she was alone or frightened. When Squall was around, there was an air of oddness between them, but there was also something she couldn't quite place.

Oni decided to drop the matter for now and simply pulled back her covers and climbed into her bed. Switching off the lamp on her bad side, she listened as the rustling of the bed on the over side of the curtain continued to fill the room. When the noise stopped, Oni could hear Squall's calm breathing and with its even rhythm ringing in her ears she fell asleep.

__

_With that plea drifting though her mind, she fell into a black pool that threatened to shallow her whole. But as she felt the air beginning to leave her, she saw a light spark in the endless void. As the light sparked again and she could barely make out a figure standing in the darkness looking at her. Not knowing or caring who it was, she reached out her hand with the last of her strength and cried out in desperation._

_Her fingers seemed to be only within a meter of this unknown person as her voice rang out, "Help me, please!!! Don't leave me here!! Save me!!" _

Oni snapped up out of her bed once again as the last image of her dream faded away. Her breathing once again, she sat still trying to regulate it. After a few minutes, she was able to do so and she swung her legs over the side of her bed and closed her eyes.

The same thing had happened again. That person in her dream had been so close to her, but still she had been unable to reach far enough to touch the anonymous figure.

Her senses now returning, Oni was suddenly aware of a familiar sound floating through the room. Listening closely, she tried to determine the nature of this noise with out disturbing its master. The sound of heavy breathing crept through the silence of room 917 followed by a deep groan.

Oni softly walked towards the other side of the curtain where her roommate's bed was set along with the rest of his belongings. Without having bothered to grab her robe, Oni neared his side of the room still clad in only her underwear and tang top, but the scarlet-eyed woman could have cared less. Long black tresses cascaded around her shoulders framing her face that remained stoic.

It was in this state that she came upon the sight of her roommate lying on his back in the middle of his bed. The moonlight from the back window cased highlights on his handsome face that was now filmed with sweat. His brown hair lay strewed across his face and his lips were partly open from his heavy breathing and groaning. The covers on his bed were carelessly thrown to the end leaving him exposed except for the black boxers he wore. His chest rose quickly from his labored intakes of breath while his he tossed his head and ceased his brow in discomfort.

Realizing that his current state was due to more than just the extreme heat, Oni made her way to his bedside and gently sat down near him. Carefully, Oni reached for his wrist and felt his pulse. When her assessment was complete, she softly put his wrist down and rose to retrieve what she needed from the kitchen. Returning with a bowl of water and a washcloth, Oni sat back down on the side of the bed, dipped the cloth into the cool water, wrung out the extra water, and began to slowly pat Squall's forehead. When the cool rag touch Squall's burning skin, the sleeping man sucked in another heavy breath and a deep groan, but did not wake.

After patting down his forehead, Oni proceeded to bring the cloth down the sides of his face and neck then across his shoulders that were also drenched in sweat. With that complete, she dipped the cloth back in bowl of water on her lap, wrung it out, and folded it before laying it across Squall's forehead. She then pulled her hands away from him and just looked at his face with wine red eyes.

Without thinking or finding a reason, she reached out and let her fingers brush his hair away from his sweaty face. Her fingers continued to drag through his hair and touch his sweat slick skin, but she seemed not to notice as she continued her ministrations. It was then, sitting next to him with her hand brushing through his tresses that she began to do something she hadn't done in two years. Her lips parted and words spilled out into the room.

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance_

_For a break that will make it ok_

_There's always some reason to feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

Words that had not been uttered in so long now rang throughout the room that was once filled with only the sound of her roommates heavy breathing and moaning.

_I need some distraction, oh a beautiful release_

_Memories seep from my veins _

_May they be empty, oh and weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

Squall's breathing continued to come in unsteady streams of air, but somehow, it seemed that it wasn't as erratic as it had been. Oni's fingers traveled deeper into his sweaty hair causing her fingers to become wet, but she did not even skip a beat.

_In arms of the Angel fly away from here_

_From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that your fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie _

_You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here_

The former Commander began to stir with Oni's fingers stroking his hair softly and her voice flowing through the room so close to him. Yet, whatever nightmare he was having refused to release him and he continued to labor his breathing and groan.

_So tired of the straight line and everywhere you turn_

_There's vultures and thieves at your back_

_The storm keeps on twisting, keep on building lies_

_That you make for all that you lack_

Although Squall continued to sweat, Oni still ran her fingers through his hair that was surprisingly soft despite its state of wetness. Oni's cool fingers passed over his skin in an unintentionally comforting manor that even the woman administering the touch did not notice. And so she sang on.

_It don't make no difference, escaping one last time_

_It's easier to believe_

_In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness _

_That brings me to my knees_

Breathing heavy and body coated in sweat, Squall struggled to return to consciousness where he would be free from his nightmare. Something was calling to him, but he couldn't quite hear it. Then, suddenly, he became fearful that he would open his eyes and find his nightmare come to life.

Trying to decide between his dreaming nightmare and the possibility of a living one, Squall sucked in another breath as he felt a hand brush over his temple into his hair. Taking a quick breath, he snapped open his eyes to look upon the owner of this hand.

Confusing his dream with reality, Squall suddenly saw a raven haired woman with a smile he knew all too well looking down on him and before he even took a moment to see more, he grabbed her by the wrists and with sheer strength flipped her over onto the bed in anger and fear.

_In the arms of the Angel fly away from here_

_From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear_

The years of SeeD training that were under his belt came into action as he pinned the woman's hands to the pillow now beneath her head. The bowl in her lap had been abruptly thrown causing the contents to splash all over her from the impact. Not caring about it, Squall noticed the woman trying to bring her legs up out of the corner of his eye and he immediately threw all of the weight in his legs between hers to keep her from trying to catch him off guard and knee him in places she shouldn't.

Y_ou are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie _

_You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here_

With his aggressor firmly restrained, he prepared to get angry, to yell, to be forceful, and unrelenting. Opening his mouth to begin his verbal assault, he brought his eyes up to meet what he was almost completely sure were going to be chocolate brown eyes, but when he made eye contact everything inside him froze so stiff you would have thought it was negative forty degrees in the room.

Trapped beneath him in complete restraint, was not the raven haired, chocolate eyed, cheery smiled woman he had so fearfully thought it was. No carefree glassy eyed girl lay under him to mock him. No gleeful smile to make him feel alone. No giggling voice to torture his already cracking soul. No, that was not what he saw, and he truly didn't know whether or not to be relieved or twice as fearful as he gazed in to a pair of passive, blood red eyes.

_You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here_

Not shoulder length, raven hair with brown streaks, but knee length, ebony hair with a red hue. Not peachy, white porcelain skin, but rich, almond, earth tone skin. Not small, pink, dainty lips, but full, red, strong lips. And not glassy, carefree chocolate eyes, but deep, silent, wine red eyes.

Squall found breathing even harder than it had been before. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he was breathing anymore. From fear or awe, he couldn't be sure. For it was not only her features that were dramatic, but also the way they were presented.

Oni's long obsidian hair was now wet from the water bowl lay strewed around her face and on the pillow beneath her. Her red lips were parted as she sucked in breath to recover from his "attack". Her smooth skin was now slick with cool water causing her to glisten in the dim moonlight. And her scarlet pools looked at him with the same expression they always held; silence.

The moments passed like eternities as both roommates made no move to take any action besides stare at each other, one with shock, the other with passiveness. Still lost in trying to come to grips with what he just did, Squall heard Oni mutter something that he barely caught in between her heavy breathing and his own.

"Squall."

The former commander was afraid to respond in fear of what might happen to him. What would Oni do? He could only guess, as he still stayed poised with her wrists trapped in his hands and his knees between her legs.

It was then that he suddenly became painfully aware of everything around him and his sense of touch ignited the most. The feel of Oni's cool skin against his fingers was the first thing that his senses noticed. Then his eyes registered the sight of her chest rising and falling from her deep breaths with her wet tang top clinging to her otherwise, naked upper body. His nose then picked up the lingering smell of roses mixed with sweat that assaulted him in a strange way. But the last thing that entered his mind was the feel of Oni's cool water slick inner thighs brushing against his hot, sweaty sides that were, beside his black boxers, devoid of any other clothing.

Squall felt like he should be extremely embarrassed by this, but found that he felt no such thing. He wasn't thinking that he wasn't feeling suddenly hotter, but he was thinking that he didn't feel like he was doing something…"wrong". Fear was more present than anything else because of the impending thought of Oni's reaction. He couldn't even remember why he had so abruptly attacked her and was sure he would not be able to defend his actions. But just when he prepared for her angry retort, Oni jogged his memory instead.

"You were having a nightmare. Your pulse was high and your temperature was up," Oni's voice was no different from what it usually was and it came as a slight surprise to Squall. For a few moments, he thought she wasn't going to say anymore, but she added in a whisper, "What did you see?"

Surprise whipped through Squall's face at her question that he had not been ready for. She had never ventured to ask such a question of him and he hadn't expected her to even care. He was sure that she was going to yell at him for attacking her like he did, but that didn't seem to be it.

The former commander groped for an answer but found none that would justify his actions and instead he remained silent and lowered his head with his eye closed. He knew he should move away from her, but he found that his body would not allow it.

"Whom did you mistake me for?"

At that, Squall's head snapped up and he connected his eyes with hers once more. Staring in her orbs of fire, he found the memories of his dream seeping back into his mind and his once forgotten images returned. His breathing increased and his eyes suddenly became like liquid and Oni watched as a raindrop fell from his sky blue eyes.

The drop splashed onto her cheek and slid down her face as if it were her own. More drops fell and splashed onto her skin before cascading down her cheeks while Oni continued to look at Squall who had now lowered his head away from her.

Suddenly, he let go of her wrists but sat on his knees that were still between her legs. Oni pulled back her legs away from him and lifted herself up so that she could put them under her, but never let her eyes drift from her roommates down cased face.

In that moment, Squall made a confession, which he had never made to anyone, right there kneeling on his bed in front of this woman. "_She_ haunts me. _She_ won't leave me alone." He sucked in breath as he whispered, "Why wouldn't _she_ just go away?"

Tears, one by one, fell and Oni looked upon his face no differently then she would anyone else, but something was going on inside her that could not be seen on the outside.

Squall balled his fists in the sheets and struggled for the first time to control himself, but he found himself failing. Before this woman he could not find a way to feeling as sorry as he felt now. And suddenly, he just let it out, "I'm…………sorry. I……just……"

His broken words were cut off when Oni suddenly reached out and lifted his face to look at her. Somehow, her eyes seemed to be more intense than he had ever seen them and her actions even more intense.

Slowly her thumb wiped the tear off his face. Squall had never felt so weak in his entire life and he really didn't know what to do. He had just…broken down right in front of her, and now he just waited for the whiplash. But he should have learned by now, that he would receive no such thing from Oni.

"Never." Her voice was deep and thick with meaning. "Never be sorry." Squall stared at her with surprise that was obviously seen on his face, but Oni continued, "Never be ashamed." The scarlet-eyed woman brought her other hand up to his naked shoulder that was still wet with sweat. "Don't ever be sorry or ashamed for the way you feel. Never."

The former commander found that he could not speak or even utter a sound in a reply to such words. A feeling of comfort and care washed over him and it was strange and new to him. Was this what it felt like to be really cared for?

Squall's eyes were locked with Oni's red ones and something passed between them then and there that could not be explained in any words he might have tried to use to explain it. Not able to move, Squall just waited for anything to happen.

Sitting there, on Squall's bed clad in only their nightclothes, the roommates stared at each other as Oni uttered her final word, "Never." And as it passed her lips, she put both her arms around his shoulders and pulled him to her. One hand in the middle of his naked back and the other on the nape of his neck, she held him to her chest. Her cheek lay against his hair and her eyes were closed as she just held him.

Shell shocked, Squall just let her hold him to her body, but after a moment, he felt the warmth of her skin against his and her smooth hands holding him close. Tears returning, he brought his own strong arms up to wrap around her waist. And she held him as he clung to her, accepting the comfort she was offering him in his moment of weakness.

Slowly, Oni leaned back against the headboard of the bed not letting go of Squall even for a moment. The tired man rolled onto his side and allowed his head to drop down into Oni's waiting lap. With his head cradled in Oni's lap, one hand wrapped around her waist, and the other laying across her knees, he let his breathing fall in time with hers and closed his eyes.

The woman he lay on, moved her hands so that one was still stroking his hair and the other stroked his arm comfortingly as she simply sat there not even bothering to pull the covers over them. Oni's fingers stroking Squall's arm caused his mind to slowly drift into the world of sleep, but before he broke away from the conscious world completely, he heard the soft sound of a melody floating around his ear. And even as he did fall into the realm of sleep, the sound stayed with him keeping his mind at rest. But in the back of his mind, he groped to find the source of this sound and found himself needing to know its maker. Yet Squall's already exhausted body refused to stay away from sleep and so with the darkness closing in around him, he faded.

Oni looked down on the sleeping form lying in her lap and her own eyelids began to weigh down on her. Still stroking Squall's arm, Oni leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes, relinquishing herself to sleep. But as her mind drifted just as Squall's had, her lips still moved forming the words to her seemingly unheard hymn.

And so, they slept in peace.

_"And I'm left with only a haunted hymn"_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Author's Note: IT IS COMPLETE!! OMIGOSH!!! THAT TOOK FOREVER!! I thought I was never going to finish that chapter! Anyhow, So what did you think? I personally loved writing it! It was so much fun! But it was kind of confusing so let me explain. What was Squall's little breakdown about? Well, everyone has a breaking point. Squall has been holding all his emotions inside for so long that he had to crack eventually. This just happened to be his time. No longer able to hold it in, he lets it out and Oni is there to catch him. But remember that Oni has problems of her own, so when is she going to reach her breaking point? Will Squall catch her? You'll just have to wait and find out! I promise the next chapter will be shorter because I can't keep writing these super long chapters.

Reviews More Chapters. PLEASE REVIEW!


	6. Words Unspoken

**Walking Blind**

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Sorry about this, butI didn't know that the page breaks didn't show up in the final version of this chapter! So it all ran together and you couldn't tell where there were scene changes! So, I fixed it and reposted the chapter so it's easier to read! Thanks!

**Author's Note: **So, how was the last chapter? Good I hope because I spent SO MUCH TIME ON IT! I don't think I have ever written a longer chapter! sigh Anyway, here is the next chapter of my story. Hope you like how it's going so far. With Squall's "breakdown" out of the way, it's time to move on to bigger and better things! Oh yeah, and for those of you who brought up the "what about Squall being a badass killing machine" concern, have no fear. You don't actually think he isn't going to kick some serious butt later on? Yeah right! Just hang tight, I have SO much left to write. I guarantee it will get there!

**Disclaimer's: **I STILL don't own Final Fantasy 8 or any of the songs used in this chapter.

­Chapter 6: Words Unspoken

_In the darkness,_

_Here I stand,_

_Reaching for your outstretched hand._

_Your heart is calling,_

_Out to me,_

_With you is where I want to be._

_But I'm fearful,_

_That you'll leave,_

_And that is why you see me grieve._

_To live alone,_

_Without you,_

_Is something I know I could never do._

_So I took your hand_

_And to you I've awoken,_

_And together we'll speak the words unspoken._

_Lynxionia_

"No, I told you that is not necessary." Doctor Krueger leaned back in her office chair while twirling the phone cord around her fingers in annoyance. "There isn't anything you can do that we can't do here." The person she was talking to must have given a bad response because it caused the doctor to promptly slam her fist down on her desktop. "This was never your problem in the first place! I don't even know why you insist on making it your problem!"

As the doctor continued to disagree with the person on the other line, Linda, the secretary, walked into the office and set a pile of files down onto the doctor's desk.

"I will not allow for that to happen! She is where she belongs! You can't just take her because of your stupid "political" problems! They have nothing to do with her health so I will not allow them to become part of it!" The doctor gave a slight "hmph" to emphasize her point before she flopped back into her chair with her eyebrows creased to the extreme. But her angry expression changed suddenly to one of confuse as the person being spoken too changed the subject. "What does that have to do with anything?" A long pause saturated the room before Dr. Krueger spoke, this time with less distain, but no less forcefulness. "You have no say in that and you know it. I'll not have you stealing my patients for your own sick and twist motives." The doctor's expression returned to barely-contained-rage as the person made their reply. "I believe this conversation is going no where. If you want to have a more civil argument, then schedule an appointment like everyone else!" With that last bit of "advice", Dr. Krueger slammed the receiver back down onto its cradle causing a sickening crack to fill the room.

"I'll take it that did not go well." Linda calmly gave her boss a sad smile knowing how easy it was to get angry with _those_ people.

Crossing her arms in utter frustration and agitation, Krueger leaned back into her chair, "I swear! The **_nerve_** of some people! It makes me sick just listening to their disgusting excuse for "good intentions"! It's like watching people hunt down rabbits under the claim that they're a "danger to society"!"

The brunette secretary gave a small chuckle at her boss's irritation and smoothed her white lab coat out of habit, "I know how you feel. Those people make me want to wring a couple of necks myself. We just have to be strong and not let them win."

The exasperated doctor let out a heavy sigh and simply nodded her head. The government just never seemed to give them a break. No matter what they always seemed to find something, _ANYTHING_, to complain about whether it be this or that. Some days they were easier to deal with then other days but today was not one of those days and Doctor Krueger was just about at her wits end.

"Hey," Linda patted her on the shoulder trying to lighten the mood, "Why don't we go out for lunch or something? You need to get out of this office before you lose your already slipping mind." She laughed wholeheartedly and smiled at her friend.

The doctor lifted one of her eyebrows in mock suspicion. "Are you trying to imply something Linda?"

The receptionist grabbed the doctor by the arm and hoisted her out of her chair while laughing. "Not at all Doc! I'm just pointing out that if you stay in here too long you may end up as a patient instead of a doctor! And then I'll have to get someone to psycho analyze you!"

Chuckling at her friend's remark, the doctor grabbed her coat off her office chair and followed her friend out of the building into the little town that, at the moment, was the most welcome sight she had seen in weeks.

* * *

The Sunday morning sun shone brightly through the open window in the back of room 917 and the former Commander found himself once again sitting at the small dinning table wearing all of his clothes except his shirt. He had just gotten out of the shower and his silent roommate was seated beside him eating her breakfast fully shower and dressed as well. 

Similar to the day before and the day before that, Squall had awoken to find Oni, already showered and dressed, working on breakfast for the both of them. But unlike the day before and the day before that, Squall found himself grateful that he had awoken to find Oni, having already showered and dressed, fixing breakfast for the both of them. Simply because waking up to find himself lying in his roommate's lap very scantly clad would have been awkward and embarrassing. Having been saved from that made his already frayed nerves a little bit steadier…well, a little anyway.

So, with towel in hand and fork in the other, he sat, next to Oni, eating his breakfast quietly. Today's morning meal consisted of hard scrambled eggs, golden hash brown, and honey bacon with a glass of orange juice. Squall found the meal to be extremely satisfying, something he was starting to get use to. But he supposed that Oni's meal would do that to just about anyone who had common sense or an appetite for that matter. Well, no matter what the reason, Squall ate Oni's meal wholeheartedly and continued to dry his hair with the black towel in his hand as it had become routine to do so.

And of course, Oni sat silently next to him dressed in a pair of light blue cloth shorts with the drawstrings untied and a plain white tang top. Her hair was carelessly thrown up into a messy bun with the strands that were too long to stay up hanging around her face. Two particular strands seemed to be extraordinarily stubborn, as Oni had pushed them behind her ears a countless number of times to rid her sight of the obstructions but to now avail. The silly pieces of hair just refused to corporate and after what seemed like an unfathomable amount of times having pushed them back, Oni left them to hang carelessly.

Both roommates let the silence rule the room for some time, neither of them really caring whether it was there or not, but it was broken surprisingly by Oni when she turned to Squall before asking, "What foods do you like?"

The sudden question was regarded with a quite confused expression from the former Commander who did not understand the meaning of her question or rather, the meaning of her asking it. "Uh………What do you mean?"

"What I asked. What foods do you like?" She restated her question calmly with no show of irritation or annoyance and Squall felt like he was simply being stupid after a few more seconds passed and he still remain silent. Seeing his confusion in his crystal blue eyes Oni elaborated, "Sundays are free days. I'm going to go into the town to buy some things we need. I want to know what foods you like."

Now understanding what she was getting at, Squall answered her with ease. "Buy whatever you want. I'm not picky."

This being said, Oni simply nodded and turned back to her plate that was now empty and took it to the kitchen where she rinsed it, dried it, and then put it back into the cabinet where it belonged. Then, grabbing her notepad and small book bag, she went to the door and pulled a pair of white and blue tennis shoes out from under the table next to the door. With shoes on and bag on her back, she opened the door just as little Toki prepared to knock on it. Smiling instead, the child gave Oni (or rather her leg) a quick hug before skipping into the room to where Squall was just finishing his breakfast.

She grabbed on to his pant leg and grinned so wide that her eyes squeezed shut at the corners. "Good Morning Squall! What'cha doin' today?" Rocking back and forth on her heals while still holding onto his pant leg, Toki waited for the older man's response as he cleaned his dish off in the sink.

Squall couldn't help but sigh at this little girl's energy level at every hour of the day except when the sun was on the other side of the world. But despite her over excitement, Squall glanced at her and simply replied, "…Nothing."

"Good!" Toki then scrambled over to where Oni was standing at the door. "Oni, are you going to the town today?" The red-eyed woman nodded to the little girl who in turn beamed up at her 'big sister'. "Ok! We'll see you later then!"

Oni turned around and walked out of the room with her loose strands of hair swinging to the rhythm of her steps.

Back inside room 917, Squall was being lead by Toki to his bed where she "pushed" him down so that he sat and then crawled up beside him with the same overly energetic smile, which always seems to be present, on her face. Clapping her little hands together she sucked in a deep breath and began, "OK! Now that Oni is gone we can talk about what we're going to get her." She poked herself in the forehead in thought but when she didn't seem to be coming up with anything, she turned to Squall for suggestions. "What do you think we should get her?"

The only words that could accurately describe Squall expression at the moment would be to say that it was comically confused to the core. He had not even an inkling of what the Toki was even referring to and he started to wonder why he never seemed to know what anyone was talking about. "…Get her what?"

Letting out an exaggerated sigh, Toki sucked in a big lung full of air before exclaiming, "Her birthday present, of course!"

Being caught off guard by this news, Squall creased his brow having really no other reaction that would fit the situation. Birthday present? Oni's birthday was soon? Wait, he didn't have any Gil with him. How was he supposed to buy a present? He highly doubted that Toki had Gil to use. "We don't have any money."

With another giant sigh, Toki rolled her eyes at her older companion in mock annoyance. "Of course not silly! We don't need money to buy her a present. That's what Ex-Cards are for!"

Squall furrowed his brow once more at yet another bit of information he was clueless about. "Ex-Cards?"

"Yeah, Ex-Cards. You know 'Expense Cards'? All patients over 16 and not in severe condition have them!" Toki looked at Squall like he was child and she was the adult rather than the other way around. It was actually quite interesting and amusing to say the least, to see the little girl acting like the soon-to-be-nineteen-year-old was a soon-to-be-eight-year-old.

Squall observed the little girl with a confused expression that had become a frequent appearance for him as of late. Why was it that everyone was one step ahead of him? "…I don't have one."

"Well of course you don't! We have to go get!" With that statement, Toki hopped of the bed and skipped over to where Squalls boots were laying by the door. Picking them up, she hurried back over to Squall and set them in front of him. "Come on! We have to get back before Oni does! Let go!"

Not really having any other choice but to indulge the girl's demands, he buckled up his SeeD boots and left room 917 without bothering to grab his jacket. It was far too humid for it and even his current attire was not really suited for it either, but he had little choice because he hadn't brought any other clothes besides his SeeD stuff. But he didn't complain and maybe while they were "in town" they could find a clothes store.

Making their way to the elevator and down to the 1st floor, the pair of patients walked towards the receptionist desk where Linda was busy typing furiously at her computer while searching for a file she seemed to have misplaced. The short haired woman saw Toki and Squall approaching her desk and she smiled at them while continuing to type madly on her keyboard.

"Well, hello there Toki. How have you been?" The receptionist continued her work as she spoke and Squall simply stood by and waited for Toki's to respond.

Toki smiled brightly and hopped up and down in front of the desk so that she could see Linda from where she stood. "I'm great! I'm so happy that the Christmas party is coming up!"

"Yeah, that is fast approaching isn't it?" Linda stopped her typing so that she could look at Toki, "So, what can I do for you?"

"Squall needs his Ex-Card. We're going to buy Oni a present for her birthday!" Toki beamed at the older woman while pointing at Squall who was standing beside her with his arms crossed.

Linda's eyes widened slightly at Toki's words. "Oh my! Oni's birthday IS soon isn't it? Wow! I can hardly believe that she is going to be eighteen soon! Time just flies!" She then turned to Squall who had been silent the entire time and gave a slight smile before asking, "So, you need your Ex-Card? Ok, last name please."

"Leonhart."

Linda's fingers flew over the keys on her keyboard while her eyes attentively scanned the screen to verify his age and legitimacy as an applicable patient before turning around to a file cabinet labeled "Ex-C: M-Z". Flipping through multiple folders, Linda skimmed over the many names looking for the correct one.

"Let's see here. Larens, Leinez,…ah! Here it is, Leonhart." Pulling the manila folder out of the cabinet, she flipped it open and pulled out a three by five card with his name, room number, and ID number neatly printed on the front. Handing it to Squall, Linda registered the card and turned back to face him. "Ok, this is how these cards work. Each month you get 10,000 Gil to spend only during that month. If the month ends and you still have Gil on it, that Gil will NOT roll over into next month. When the next month comes around, you have 10,000 again. If you run out before the end of the month or you go over the limit, the amount you "over-spend" will be taken from next months Gil. So, if you go 200 over, the next month you will start out with only 9,800. Got it?"

Squall gave an affirmative nod as he tucked the Ex-card safely into the back pocket of his pants.

"Well, have fun shopping and tell Oni I said happy birthday!" Linda waved at the pair as they walked towards the double doors of the Ocean's Shore building to make their way out into the little "shopping center" outside.

"I will! See yuh later!" Toki waved to the receptionist as she left the building with Squall to shop for Oni's birthday present.

But as Squall walked outside into the "town" around them, he thought about the fact that Oni was about to turn eighteen in a few days. And he also thought about the fact that he was going to be nineteen tomorrow.

* * *

Shopping list in one hand and a few bags of food in the other, Oni made her way through the small town looking in the small shop windows that pasted her by. Jewelry shops to small supermarkets lined the small street she walked but none of the ones that drifted by her were the ones she was looking for. 

Continuing to scan the rows of stores, she finally spotted the store she was looking for and crossed the street towards it. Pausing only a seconds to look into the window, Oni entered and offered a simple nod of her head as a greeting to the cashier before setting to work to find what she needed.

She pulled out a different list she had made this morning and consulted it before searching through the many racks in the store. Making sure the sizes were right, Oni gathered a rather large amount of stuff, but expenses were not on her mind. Little more than a half an hour was all she needed to find everything she wanted and give the cashier her Ex-Card to pay for what she had collected.

Now with both hands full of bags, Oni checked her watch to find that she had only been gone for an hour and a half. So, with her shopping seemingly complete, Oni turned towards the Ocean's Shore, but remembered suddenly that she needed to get material for Toki's dress.

Swiftly, she made her way to the fabric store which was conveniently on her way back to the Ocean's Shore. After another half an hour of shopping for the material, the red-eyed woman finally concluded her shopping trip and headed back towards "home" with a number of full bags held in her arms.

* * *

When Oni opened the door to room 917 she was greeted with the sight of Toki excitedly throwing a bright red rubber ball back and forth with Squall. The ball was only a little bigger than tennis ball sized and Squall needed little effort to catch it with one hand, when it was thrown at him, but little Toki's small hand and short stature gave her a harder time. But that didn't dampen her spirits at all. Instead, the little girl could be seen jumping up and down on Squall's bed as he lightly tossed her the ball from his seat on Oni's bed. 

Having now been noticed for entering the room, Toki gave an excited squeal and an energetic wave to the red-eyed woman but continued to jump on the bed and toss the ball. But Squall saw that Oni had many bags in her hands from her shopping trip and that they were making it exceedingly difficult to balance them all while trying to put down her keys, close the door, and not drop anything.

Seeing one of the bags begin to fall, he instinctively rushed over and caught the bag while holding the others in place. While Squall awkwardly took some of the bags from Oni to carry to the table, Toki giggled at the troubles of her older companions and continued to jump.

With her load a lot lighter, Oni closed the door and set her keys down on the table next to the door and set the rest of her bags on the table where Squall had set the others.

"Thank You." Was all that Oni said as she began the process of unloading all her groceries and various items she had bought. The former commander nodded his head to her and watched as she put away potatoes, noodles, soups, vegetables, milk, and other food items. He saw that she had bought enough food for another two to three weeks at the very least.

Squall was snapped out of his dazed when he felt Toki tugging on his pant leg. Looking down at her, he watched as she smiled up at him like she always does while rocking on her heals.

"I'm going back to my room now! Thanks for playing with me Squall!" Toki smiled even brighter, if that was possible, while the former commander patted her on the head. Then, turning towards the door she said a similar goodbye to Oni and left.

This left Oni and Squall by them selves with nothing but an emanating silence lingering between them. Neither spoke because neither of them had anything to say that would start a conversation. Oni was putting groceries away and Squall simply lay back on his bed and closed his eyes.

As usual, when he had nothing to do but think, that's exactly what he did, think. His mind drifted over the past couple of days and how strange they had already proved to be. Not in a bad way, but more accurately, in an unexpected way.

He turned his head to the side to see Oni's silhouette through the curtain. Her long obsidian hair in her messy bun had let more and more piece fall out. They now hung all around her face in careless positions while their owner simply ignored them. They swayed to and fro as she arranged things around the small kitchen to the way she liked it to be.

In only a few days, she had proven that there was something more to her than was seen in the emotionless mask she wore. There was a secret she was hiding that no one could see and not until that secret was released would she reveal what lay within her.

But more urgently pressing on his thoughts was the fact that tomorrow was his birthday and he had almost complete disregarded it. If it hadn't been for Oni's birthday being so close to his own he probably would have gone through the day without even giving it much thought. It wasn't like he was going to be getting anything for it. Sure, the doctors had his birthday on record, but he highly doubted they were going to through him a party, not that he wanted one. A party was the last thing that he wanted. But still, missing ones own birthday was nothing to just complete count off as shear forgetfulness. It was _still_ his birthday. Whether he remembered or not, tomorrow he was going to be nineteen.

(And Oni is going to be eighteen soon.) Squall's thoughts added as he sighed deeply and pushed himself up off his bed. Going over to his dresser he opened the top drawer and pulled out a pair of black boxers, his only pair of black cotton pants, and a white T-shirt. It was so hot in this place and the days heat made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe taking a shower (a cold shower) would help him sleep better.

Before closing his draw, Squall let out an annoyed sigh at the sight of all his black clothing. Why did he have to bring only black leather? The climate out here was not the place for such attire and Squall wished he had packed something else. But suddenly he remembered his EX-card in his back pocket and looked at it. He could just go buy some more clothes in the "town" and his problem would be solved. Deciding to go this Friday to get it out of the way, he placed the card on the top of his dresser. He just hoped they had some descent styles that he liked.

Tousling his slightly sweaty hair, he made his way to the bathroom for his shower. Grabbing a black towel from the cabinet, Squall opened the door and locked himself inside.

In no more than half an hour pasted before Squall had taken his shower and changed into his sleep attire. He also found, upon exiting, that Oni had prepared dinner for them already. He hadn't really thought about whether or not he was hungry until he smelled the spaghetti sitting on the table where Oni was.

He walked to the table and sat down where a portion for him was sitting hot and ready to be eaten. Plopping down into his chair, he grabbed his fork in one hand while he dried his hair with his towel with his other hand. Eating slowly, he dried his wet tresses and when that task was done he laid the towel on the table beside him.

Oni ate her dinner with the same expression she always wore but for some reason, Squall felt she seemed to look a little bit different than she usually did. He didn't know whether he was imagining it or not, but for some reason she just seemed…different.

He silently watched from the corner of her eye as she repeatedly tried to move a stubborn piece of hair out of her eyes, but the silly piece of raven black hair just would not have it. Giving up entirely, she pulled the rubber band holding her knee length tresses out of her hair. Having been let loose, the strands of dark colored hair cascaded around her face like a waterfall over a cliff. She then carelessly pulled the hair into a low ponytail and continued to eat her dinner.

No words passed between them as usual, but there seemed to be a sort of ease between them that hadn't been there before. It had only been six days, but for some reason, he felt like the time didn't really matter. He couldn't explain it, but whatever it was, he hoped it would stay that way. If only for his own sanity.

* * *

The sound of Squall's deep breathing alerted Oni to the fact that he was asleep and could now go to work. Pulling on her sleeping pants and a robe, Oni left room 917 and headed for twelfth floor. 

Heading for the only black door on the floor, Oni knocked once and upon hearing the deep old woman's voice tell her to enter, opened the door and walked into the room.

The old black woman sat quietly knitting in her large armchair with her sleeping clothes on. Hearing the faint footsteps moving towards her chair, she smiled and turned to face the owner.

"Come to collect your things, child?" Her wrinkled old hands stopped knitting to look up into the face of the soon to be eighteen year old. For so long, she had seen her as a daughter and even now she still saw her that way.

Oni nodded her head in reply and voiced her affirmation as well, "Yes. He is asleep now. Thank you for letting me keep it all here, Mollia."

The old woman gave a throaty chuckle and returned to her knitting. "It was no trouble child. I have little use for it."

Finding the bag of things she was looking for, Oni grabbed it and headed for the door so that she might return to room 917 quickly. But her exit was halted when Mollia called to her. "Oni, can you take this to him for me?" the old woman held out a small parcel wrapped in simple newspaper with a small slip of paper attached to the top. "Do tell him I said, happy birthday."

Oni nodded to her adoptive mother and exited the room where the little old black woman sat with a wide smile on her face while knitting vigorously to finish her quilt in time.

Reentering room 917, Oni silently made her way over to her bed and dumped the contents of her bag out onto her bed. Sorting it into piles and then putting them away where they belonged, she finished her task quickly and efficiently without disturbing her sleeping roommate even once.

When her task was done, she stood at the end of his bed and look at him lying on top of his covers as he always did. Moonlight once again swam over him highlighting his hair and the smooth tone skin.

Letting her gaze linger for only a few moments longer, Oni made her way to her side of the bed, discarded her robe and pants, and climbed in. Closing her eyes she let sleep slowly take her and she was carried off into another restless night while her roommate slept separated from her by only a thin curtain enduring a similar ordeal. And so another night pasted them by.

* * *

Sky blue eyes snapped open and their owner sat up abruptly out of his bed. Taking in deep breaths through his nose, he calmed him self and slowly looked around him to gather his surroundings. Seeing the sunlight filtering through the back window, he turned away from the offending light. He then saw Oni dressed and ready for the day making breakfast in the small kitchen. 

Her black hair was left out of a ponytail and hung freely around her. A pair of blue jean shorts and a dark red muscle shirt was her attire. Wine colored eyes reflected no feelings in them despite their deepness.

Pushing himself out of his bed, he dragged himself over to the bathroom at the back of the room and, only bothering to grab a towel, entered. Taking a quick ten-minute shower, he threw on a black bathrobe that was hanging up in the bathroom that had been named his, because he forgotten to grab clothes. He was just too tired to care and silently noted that Oni's favorite colors seemed to be black and red as he made his way out of the bathroom.

He found that Oni was just placing the plates of food on the table and he made his way over to his seat. Sitting down next to her he began to eat his food slowly while running his hands through his semi wet hair.

The silence in the room that was usually present was undisturbed and Squall could feel the humidity already beginning to take effect. He let out a silent sigh at the thought. More leather and more black…and that meant more hot days. Why hadn't he thought of this sooner?

Having finished, he rose and washed his plate in the sink with a disinterested look on his face. Oni did the same with her own plate and proceeded to clean the kitchen's pots and pans she had used to make breakfast. Squall headed towards his dresser suddenly feeling the need to be dressed. Rummaging through his drawer he let a puzzled look come over his features as there were quite a few things in there that weren't his. But his eyes grew large when he saw the tags that were still attached to the many articles of clothing that "weren't his". They were all from one of the stores he had seen in the "town" while shopping with Toki.

He turned around sharply to look at Oni and stared at her for a few seconds before she must have sensed his gaze and looked up to meet his eyes. He held the items up slightly so that she would know what he was staring at her for and when she realized what he was referring to, she simply nodded her head before speaking.

"I'm sure I got all the sizes correct. If not, I can take it back to exchange it." She then simply returned to cleaning the kitchen as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Finding nothing to say to her, Squall turned back around to go through the rest of his drawers. Sure enough, in each one, there were at least three new articles of clothing in each one.

There were three muscle shirts one in black, white, and dark blue. There were four new short-sleeved shirts, two in white, one in black, and one in dark red. Four new pairs of jean shorts were neatly folded in his second drawer, two dark blue pairs, one light blue pair, and one black pair. Three new hooded sweatshirts or "hoodies" were draped where his leather jacket was, one in black, one in dark blue, and one in white. Next to his dresser where his boots were there sat two new pairs of shoes, one white pair of tennis shoes and one black pair of "skater" shoes. (for lack of a better word) And a very light blush crept over his cheeks when he saw four new pair of boxers, three were black and his blush deepened when he saw one pair was dark red. To make his embarrassment even more complete, he found that the boxers were all made of silk.

To cap it all off, every last article of clothing from hoodie to boxer was the right size, which could only mean that Oni had gone through his clothes and checked his sizes; even his boxer size. Letting his blush fade away before turning back around, Squall found Oni still cleaning the kitchen with little regard to her roommates discoveries. But feeling his gaze once again upon her, she lifted her eyes to look at him.

Finding his voice once again, Squall spoke. "What is all this for? I don't have the money to pay you back." Not even the money on his Ex-card would pay for all this stuff. They were all name brands and did not come cheap.

Oni looked back at him still emotionless as ever and answered him, "It is August the twenty third. Is it not?"

Squall found himself nodding despite his confusion because it still wasn't making sense to him. What was she getting at? What did it matter what the date was?

Oni let out a wisp of air and went back to her cleaning but continued to explain, "The clothes you wear are too hot for the "Ocean's Shore." She paused in her speaking as if debating whether or not to continue. "…And one only turns nineteen once."

Her reasoning surprised him and he didn't have anything to say to her in reply that would satisfy the situation. She had just bought him a whole new wardrobe without any consent from him, but he supposed that this only proved how intuitive and observant Oni really was. She noticed things that no one else did even though she seemed to be oblivious to what others were doing. Her thoughtfulness was astounding for someone who could easily be labeled as emotionless.

But it wasn't just the fact that she had bought him these things that startled him, but rather it was the reason she did it. She bought him all these clothes for his birthday. For his birthday. He wasn't even used to getting a "Happy Birthday" from most and even if people did remember, they just acted as though they didn't care. It had grown customary to simply go through his birthday as if it was just another day in the week. The only time he had ever gotten a present or celebration of any kind that he could remember was on his past eighteenth birthday when _she_ had thrown a party for him. But _she _should have known that he hated parties _especially _ones in his honor because that meant he HAD to be the center of attention. Needless to say it had been a…less than pleasant experience.

Yet, here he was, getting a present from the most unlikely person in the most unlikely of places on a day he had scarcely remembered. But as he looked at the clothes Oni had bought him, August the twenty-third suddenly became more than just another day to him. It was his birthday; his nineteenth birthday.

And it was then that Squall found himself doing something he hadn't done in some time. His lips tugged at one corner just enough to pull them into a smirk. He then grabbed a new pair of dark blue jean shorts, his new dark red shirt that had the word "Undefeated" written in black letters across the chest, and a new pair of black silk boxers before heading to the bathroom to change.

When he emerged clad in his new outfit, Oni turned towards him, as he looked himself over. She stepped out from behind the kitchen counter, let her eyes scan over him, and simply stated, "They fit you well."

His head snapped up at these words as Oni walked towards him till they were only a foot apart. Carefully, she reached out her hand and folded down the hem of one of his sleeves that had turned up. This caused her fingers to brush over the skin on his shoulder making an odd feeling pass over him, but he chose to ignore it. She then stepped back again to survey him once more and added, "The colors suit you."

Nodding his thanks awkwardly at her comments, he stepped away from her and went back to his dresser to grab some black ankle socks. Reaching for his new pair of black "skater" shoes, he slipped them on, laced them up, and looked up at Oni who was waiting by the door with her small backpack on her back. She turned to leave the room and Squall moved to follow but stopped when a thought suddenly came to him.

He quickly turned around and grabbed his new black sweater that was hanging where his leather jacket was. You never know how cold or warm it was going to be in the Activity Room. Sometimes, they had the AC all the way up causing the room's temperature to drop to a rather uncomfortable level. But Squall never complained about it because he didn't mind the cold chill compared to the staggering heat of the summer sun. But with a brand new sweater just sitting there, he found that he couldn't just leave it. So, draping it over his arm, he headed for the door once more.

Just as he was about to close the door, he stopped and let his eyes scan over room 917. Somehow in a matter of only six days he had found a way into the lives of those around him. Even though he wasn't sure what that meant yet, he could feel that it was there. When he was around Toki, Mollia, and Oni he could feel a strange sort of connection between them that he couldn't explain. But it was there nonetheless as strong as it was unfamiliar.

Yet more importantly, he had formed an unwritten agreement with his silent red-eyed roommate. Something was changing between them since the day he had arrived and whether that was bad or good he couldn't tell. But which ever it was he was sure that this "something" was there and because of that, he found himself once again, staring at the new sweater on his arm and smirking ever so slightly. She had found a side of himself that he thought had died when _she_ left.

He turned around towards the elevator where Oni was standing waiting while closing the door behind him. Her eyes connected with his and he found that he understood a little bit more about her than he had yesterday. But now was not the time to think of that. Today was a day to remember because it was the first time in his life he could ever remember when someone had actually been thoughtful towards him on his birthday. It was also the first birthday he could remember that he was happy to remember.

For now, Squall was content to just let the days come and go and see what was in store for him next. To stop dwelling so much on the past and just focus on what lay before him. And maybe together, he and Oni could find a way to understand each other far better than he ever could with anyone else. Maybe together, they could continue to speak this language they had formed between each other that could not be heard or written. Together they could speak words that were unspoken.

_"__And together we'll speak the words unspoken."_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: Well, wasn't that an interesting chapter? Squall got a birthday present! **OH YEAH, before I forget, Oni is 17 right now and Squall is now 19.** I accidentally wrote the wrong ages for them in previous chapters. But I finally figured out what they are SUPPOSE to be. Well, thanks for being patient with me. I know I'm a pain because I take so long to write. But I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Thanks!

Next Chapter: Squall and Oni's birthdays are next and the preparations for the Christmas party begin for real!

PS- Oh yeah, I will be posting some responses to reviewers in the next chapter because I greatly appreciate your support and want you all to know I haven't forgotten you!


End file.
